New Beginnings
by Jeweled Rose
Summary: After Kel defeats Blayce 'The Nothing Man', everything seems to be well. But when disaster strikes, Kel and Neal are forced into a quest to set things right, all the while battling powerful emerging feeling for each other.
1. Arrivals

This story takes place _immediately _after Lady Knight. And uh, yeah. Nothing much more to say except, of course, this being me, it's probably going to be Kel/Neal.

Disclaimer: None of the settings or characters of Tortall belong to me, but rather to Tamora Pierce.

* * *

"So, when _are _you and Yuki getting married?" Kel inquired of her best friend, pulling Hoshi up beside his horse.

Neal smiled cheekily at her and replied, "As soon as you and Dom do," laughing as she glared at him. "Don't give me that look, I've seen you making eyes at him!"

Kel huffed indignantly. "I do _not _make eyes!" It was too girly for her.

"But you don't deny that you're in love with my cousin," Neal pointed out.

"Stop being stupid," grumbled Kel, regretting that she wasn't riding Peachblossom. He would make Neal shut up.

The rest of the trip went rather quickly and uneventfully. Kel avoided the topic of weddings around her friend, not wanting her crush on Dom brought up. When their group arrived at Fort Steadfast, an extremely enthusiastic Owen greeted them.

"Neal, Kel! You're finally here! Can you believe it? My ordeal's in only a couple of months!" his chubby face grew troubled at this.

Kel smiled and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure you'll be fine." She looked at the men shifting impatiently behind her. "Uh, where should we unpack?"

Owen's eyes widened. "Oh!" he exclaimed, "I can take the horses, and Yaledan will show you to your rooms," he said, beckoning to a young boy with pale hair and freckles. To the boy he added, "Just bring them to their rooms, so they can unpack their things." Yaledan nodded and started off to a formidable building, with Kel, Neal and their company trailing behind him.

"Here's the barracks," he said as he stopped by the door. "The soldiers will sleep here. Lord Wyldon says he wishes Sir Nealan and Lady Knight Keladry to stay in the headquarters." He looked at the two of them. "If you'll follow me…" The youth led them to their quarters, two rooms right next to each other. Each contained a desk, chair, small dressing table, and a bed. After Kel and Neal were settled, they met Yaledan in the hallway. "Lord Wyldon wishes to see you know," he informed them, and set off for their former training master's office.

When they arrived, he gestured for them to sit down and dismissed the boy. "It's been a few months since I've seen you two last," he said, handing them hot cups of cider. "How are things in New Hope?"

Over the next two hours, Kel and Neal informed him of the state of things in the new refugee camp. Kel noticed that toward the end, Neal was fidgeting anxiously. Once they had been dismissed and left the room, he let out an exasperated sigh.

"Finally, I can see Yuki!" he said, and with a quick hug to Kel around the shoulders, ran off to find his betrothed. Kel watched him go, chuckling to herself at her friend's impatience. _But speaking of 'lovers'… I wonder where Dom is?_ She thought, and set out to find him.

She spotted him up on the wall near the gate, looking down the road. He heard her approach and turned to greet her.

"Kel! It's good to see you! How are things at New Hope? Is our Sir Meathead behaving himself?" he exclaimed, wrapping strong arms about her in a friendly hug. Kel grew giddy at his touch.

"Things get better every day. Meathead's doing well, we just lock him in the stocks when he misbehaves," she laughed, returning his embrace. As they pulled apart, Dom pretended to scrutinize her.

"You know, Lady Knight, I think you're getting taller. You might catch up to me still," he remarked, his blue eyes twinkling.

Kel laughed. "So how is Lord Raoul? Nervous?"

"Well, I think he's happy, but anxious about being 'tied down'. But he and Buri really love each other."

"Yes, they were meant to be together," Kel mused. "I think Lord Raoul's favorite part of being married will be avoiding all the pesky mothers at court events."

That drew a hearty laugh from Dom. Kel's stomach fluttered as they looked into each other's eyes. Down in the mess hall, a loud bell chimed, signaling that it was time for dinner. She looked down over her shoulder at the people steadily streaming in the doors.

"Well, I guess we'd better go- Neal needs someone to remind him to eat his vegetables," she sighed.

Dom looked away from her face suddenly. "Oh, yeah. I bet you're hungry after that long ride," he said as they walked down the steps.

Kel laughed in surprise as her stomach rumbled. "Starved!"

They joined Neal, Yuki, Owen, and a few soldiers from Kel's squad at a table after they had collected their food. Throughout the course of the meal, Neal and Yuki cooed at each other like doves. This irritated Kel a little more than it should have, which bothered her even more. After a particularly sickening statement, she hastily excused herself and left for her rooms, leaving her puzzled friends staring after her.

In her room, she grabbed her glaive from its resting place against the wall and started a particularly rapid and complicated pattern dance. It disturbed her that she didn't know why her friends' display so thoroughly disgusted her. _They're lovers; 'cooing' is what they do! Of course they're going to get annoying, you just have to ignore it, _She told herself. _You're jealous. _A nasty voice in her mind told her. _I am _not _jealous!_ She yelled back silently. _Oh, but you are. You wish it was you, in your lover's arms… _the voice persisted. Kel didn't answer it. She _was _jealous, in a way. It had been a long time since somebody had kissed her, or held her. _It's just so lonely sometimes. _She sighed to herself. _Enough. This isn't helping me. _She sped up her glaive. It flew through the air, a blur of brown and silver. The door creaked open behind her, but it didn't register in her head. The cry of protest as she turned around did, however. Her glaive whipped to a stop scant inches from the intruder's face. Neal's shocked green eyes flashed at her.

"_Really _Kel, just because we were bothering you earlier doesn't give you leave to try to _kill _me!" he snapped in mock irritation.

She lowered the blade from her friend's face carefully. "You're just lucky that I have good control," she informed him. "Did you need something?"

Neal examined his fingernails. "Well aren't _we _blunt?" He shrugged nonchalantly, then looked up at her more seriously. "I was just wondering why you left dinner so suddenly. I'm sorry if we bother you," he said.

Kel shook her head slightly. "It's nothing. It's just been a long day," she said, stifling a fake yawn. She didn't really want to discuss this with him right now.

"Oh… all right then, if you're okay…" he started to turn around, but hesitated. "If you ever need anything Kel, you know I'm here for you," he told her, concern written all over his face. She couldn't help but smile at his caring. She put a hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks Neal."

He put a hand over hers briefly as he gave her a small smile and nodded in reply. Then he quietly left the room.

_I look forward to the wedding tomorrow,_ thought Kel as she soaked in the tub, then undressed and slipped into bed. _The gods know I could use some happiness._

_

* * *

_

Review, review!


	2. Preperations

I'm really supposed to be studying for my HUGE finals coming up this week and the national Spanish exam, but I'm a shameless procrastinator. I'd just much rather write.

**Heartdamoose**: Don't worry, there's a plot twist coming up! You seriously should do a long KF. That would be so incredibly awesome! And I like the idea of killing Varice… yesss…

**Lady Knight 1512**: I totally agree w/ you about there not being enough KN's! So how's this: I promise that this will be a KN. It might take a little while though; there are some 'issues' that need to be taken care of…

**Jamie Lynn**: Yay! I hurried! Weekends help…

**FanFictionFantom**: Hahaha, that would be so totally awesome… don't worry though, Yuki will get what she deserves for stealing Neal. mutters Stupid thieving Yuki…

**Catgirl80**: Don't worry, like I said, I'm _obsessed _with Kel/Neal's so this will be KN.

**All Kel/Neal Lovers: **Read my other KN story, A Friend In Need! Lots of fluffy goodness…

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or settings of Tortall. Well, except for that little Yeladan kid in the first chapter. But I only needed him to show everyone to their rooms.

* * *

Kel woke up before dawn feeling remarkably better than she had the previous evening. She climbed out of bed to start her usual morning exercises. When the bell rang, she quickly checked her reflection in the small mirror above her dressing table and headed to the mess hall. She collected her breakfast from the cooks and sat down beside a beckoning Dom.

"Good morning," she chirped, flashing him a smile. He returned it with one of his own, sapphire eyes glittering.

"Sleep well?" he asked, handing her the honey crock.

"Like a baby," she answered as she poured honey on her porridge.

Yuki sat down and looked around before she asked, "Have either of you seen Neal?"

Kel smiled at her Yamani friend. "You still have a lot to learn about Neal," she said. "You hardly ever see him up on time."

"And when you _do _see him, you wish you hadn't," Dom interrupted with a grin.

Just then Neal slammed his tray on the table and sat down wearily, almost missing the bench. His hair was messy, eyes bleary, and clothes rumpled.

"People at this place do _not _know how to make _lines_!" he exclaimed angrily and started jabbing at the food on his plate with his fork.

"Well speak of the Devil…" Dom muttered as he and Kel suppressed laughter at Yuki's shocked face. She tried to fix Neal's hair and clothes, but he swatted her hands away irritably. She huffed and turned to Kel.

"Kel, do you need any help getting ready for the wedding this afternoon?" she asked. Neal groaned.

Kel glanced quizzically at him before nodding at Yuki with a warm smile. "That would be great. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'll come to your rooms after I get ready."

Neal got up when Kel did. "I'll walk back with you," he offered. Kel just shrugged.

After they'd left the mess hall, she elbowed him in the side.

"Ow! What was that for?" he asked, glaring at her.

"For you being so weird," she retorted. "All of a sudden you act all annoyed with Yuki. What happened to the sickening lovebird act? And why'd you groan when she mentioned the wedding?"

He pouted, looking very much like a little boy who doesn't get his way. Then he sighed resignedly. "Well, she's so _bossy_. As soon as we get here, it's 'Neal, do this!' and 'Neal don't do that!'" he said, imitating her voice. "Can't I get a moment of peace? And don't even get her started on _weddings_. 'When's ours going to be Neal? We better have our wedding somewhere nice!'"

Kel raised an eyebrow. "It didn't seem to bother you last night."

"I figured she was just making up for lost time! When she starts up with me and how I'm not perfect in the morning… You know it's not a good idea to bother me in the morning!"

"Neal, I bother you in the morning all the time!"

He looked a little thoughtful, then confused. "That's _different_. You, you're my best friend. She's my-"

"She's your betrothed," Kel interrupted gently. "And that's for a good reason. You love her, and she loves you. She only picks on you because she cares. That's just Yuki."

By now they had reached their doors. Neal smiled wanly. "Thanks Kel. You always know how to make things right. See you at the wedding." He leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Then, cheeks scarlet, he ducked into his room and closed the door behind him. Kel stared after him for a moment, hand over the spot where his lips had touched her face. She blinked a couple times to clear her head, then entered her own room.

_What was _thatHer mind screamed. _He's betrothed to one of your best friends, and you let him kiss you?_ She frowned. _I didn't 'let' him kiss me, he just did it! Besides, it wasn't a romantic kiss or anything; it was out of friendship. _She shivered. But then why did she get chills when he touched her?

She tried to push it out of her mind and decided to start dressing. _It'll probably take me while,_ she thought, as she held up the dress Lalasa had sent for the occasion. It was light blue silk, with silver trim. The fitted bodice with silver embroidery contrasted to the full flowing skirt and sleeves. Kel was very pleased to see that her friend had humored her and made the neckline reasonable. She was trying to lace up the back in vain when there was a knock on her door.

"Come in!" she called, thinking it was Yuki. To her surprise, it was Neal, looking very disheveled.

"Kel, I need your help! I can't get anything to work right-" he stopped short when he saw her. "Wow. You look beautiful…"

She rolled her eyes. "Look, I'll help you if you help me with this dress."

He obeyed, long fingers making quick work of the laces. When he had finished, she in turn helped straighten his clothes and flatten his hair. She was adjusting the collar of his tunic when she realized how close they were. Only a few inches separated their faces. She looked up slightly. There were two bright patches of color on his cheeks and he looked as if he felt the same tension as she did. They both leaned in ever so slightly. Kel could feel his warm breath on her face. She closed her eyes, ready for, yet afraid of what would happen next.

Just then someone knocked on the door. The two jumped apart, both bright shades of red. "I'll get that," Kel whispered. She opened the door to admit Yuki, dressed beautifully in a crimson kimono embroidered with gold flowers and a gold obi. The Yamani smiled at Kel.

"Are you ready?" Without waiting for a reply, she bustled into the room. She looked at Neal standing in the center, looking extremely uncomfortable. "Neal, what are you doing here? Shoo, I've got to help Kel. I'll meet you later."

Neal looked from Yuki to Kel, then hastily made his escape.

Yuki sighed. "Sometimes I don't know what to do with him. I love him, I really do, but sometimes…" she trailed off, shaking her head.

"It will be fine," Kel assured her. _I can't believe this! _She thought. _One moment I'm about to kiss her betrothed, the next I'm trying to help their relationship!_

Yuki straightened and nodded decisively. "You're right. Let's get you ready." She guided Kel to a chair and sat her down. "Just sit still, I'll take care of everything."

Over the next hour, the Yamani fluttered about, fixing Kel's hair, putting on jewelry, and applying face paint. When she was satisfied with Kel's appearance, she turned her around to face the mirror.

Kel gasped in wonder at her reflection. "I'm a lady!" she exclaimed. Standing in the mirror was a beauty in a blue dress, a silver chain with a sparkling pendant adorning her neck, and brown hair woven up in silver and blue ribbons. Her lips, cheeks, and eyelids had the slightest hints of color.

Yuki beamed with pride. "Of course you are!" she hugged Kel. "Now you'll catch many a handsome man's eye." She smiled slyly. "Like perhaps that Domitan of Mabolle."

Kel grinned. "Thank you Yuki."

"It was my pleasure. Shall we go?"

They stopped by Neal's room, where he and Dom emerged. Yuki caught Kel's eye and smiled suggestively, then whisked Neal ahead. Dom bowed and offered his arm. "May I say that you look divine, Lady Keladry?"

She smiled as she took the offered arm. "You may,"

Together they set off to the central plaza.

* * *

Kayla hahaha! 

I've been doing this instead of studying for my finals, so please make my bad grades worthwhile—Review!


	3. Wedding

Ok, this chapter contains a wedding, and seeing as I don't know how Tortallan weddings would work, or if there are any in the books, so either I'll be really vague or just make something up.

**FanFictionFantom**: Yay! Don't you just love the light fluffy stuff? But Yuki is creating a sense of DOOM. Mwahahaha! No wait, that's not cool. I gotta do something with her…

**Jamie Lynn**: I'm thrilled that you like it!

**Catgirl80**: By 'I still like it' does that mean that there's a chance that sometime in the future you might _not _like it? Haha just kidding… well, I'll try to make it good so you can keep liking it! Y'know, I'm just doing my part to make sure that there are enough KN's on this site!

**Laurashrub**: I'm sorry! I'm still not sure what your question was! I even looked through all of my reviews to see what question you asked. I found 2: I've never seen the original Phantom of the Opera, but I have the soundtrack. I think Michael Crawford is a better singer than Gerard Butler (which is to be expected, since GB only started singing when he got the part) but he's such a good actor it totally makes up for it. I loved the costumes and scenery in the movie, they were spectacular—OMG, I totally want Christine's gala dress! And being a violinist, I have to say that the orchestra was just amazing. As to 'A Friend In Need', it's probly over, unless I get some inspiration. I just don't know where to go from there… I really hope I answered your question so you can quit being mad at me! Haha… But yeah, I don't Kel to hurt Yuki or anything… ugh, not cool. Yuki just might have to die.

**Attention: **If anyone knows of any good KN stories, tell me in a review! I'm totally running out, and they're getting harder and harder to find! ::Sigh:: everyone's turning to the dark side and writing Kel/Dom stuff.

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or settings or anything. That's Tamora's stuff and stealing it would result in a lotta messy stuff and I just don't wanna go there.

Ok, finally, the story! Wow, I've used up a half-page already! Oh, I just noticed that there was a spelling mistake in chap. 2, I accidentally said 'Mabolle' instead of 'Masbolle'. Sorry!

* * *

The area where the wedding was to be held was simple, yet beautiful. Benches were brought out from the mess hall and set up in a large circle with a central aisle leading to the center. In the center was a cleared out area with a small, clear pool of water that Numair had summoned there. An elegantly carved wooden trellis interwoven with vines and flowers stood in an arch at one end of the pool. Flowers also framed the rest of the area, lilies, roses, irises, daisies; Kel couldn't name them all. She had no idea where they all came from, or who had created the lovely setting, but it was the perfect place for a wedding. She and Dom took a seat beside Yuki and Neal. Upon seeing her, Neal's face turned red and her pretended to examine an imaginary spot on his shoe. Still embarrassed about what had happened between them earlier that day, Kel steered Dom to Yuki's side and took a seat on the far side of Neal. Yuki and Dom both gave her slightly confused glances but didn't say anything. The rest of the camp steadily filed into the 'chapel', including many friends of Kel's. The entire third company was there, as well as Buri's company of the Queen's Riders. Daine, Numair, Alanna, George, their children, even the queen and king had managed to come.

Finally soft music began to play as Raoul and Buri walked down the aisle together, followed by a priest. They stopped under the trellis and stood facing each other, hand in hand. As they beamed happily at one another, the priest began the ceremony. Kel smiled watching them. Buri looked radiant in a gold gown, and Raoul dressed elegantly in a velvet tunic and silk shirt and hose of the Goldenlake colors. The couple was completely blissful, and their joy spread to everyone present. At the end of the ceremony, the priest instructed everyone to stand up. Then Raoul and Buri turned to the pool and looked into it.

"Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak and Buriam Tourakom, look into this water and see together your future as partners in life," the priest intoned.

They still clasped hands as they looked down to the clear water at their feet. To everyone but them, the water grew cloudy, but as the couple looked in, a wide range of emotions crossed their faces. There was happiness, sadness, tranquility, anger, worried, and even fear. When they finally looked up at each other, their eyes were glistening and their faces shone with love.

The priest spoke again. "Take these rings and present to each other as a symbol of your belonging to each other." With this, he presented two ornately engraved bands of gold. They glowed slightly as they were slipped onto the fingers of the two commanders, shrinking to fit exactly. Raoul and Buri then brought their lips together in a kiss as the congregation cheered. The priest only smiled serenely. "I now pronounce you wedded." With that, Raoul and Buri looked at each other with a grin and ran down the aisle together, out of the clearing.

* * *

Ahh… no KN fluff (unfortunately) ::sigh::…ah well, I had to get something up, though I'm sorry it's so short! I'd thought I was over my short chapter rut. Anyway...like I always say, please review! 


	4. A Dance and A Surprise

Teeheehee… I just finished watching American Idol. I love that show! Ah it just cracks me up. I like doing this reviewer notes as I get them at the beginning of the chapters, it really works better than saving it until the tenth chapter or so… So here I go!

**Dreamerdoll**: Thanks for the reviews! I love it when people review after each chapter! (hint, hint!) And no, you weren't bothering me at all! Don't ya just love the cutesy stuff though? It's my favorite! Oh, and don't worry, I'll keep your little secret 'bout Neal… hehe… And you can talk to me all you want cuz I love getting long reviews and stuff.

**White-wolf2**: I'm glad _somebody _understands me! Hahaha… Yeah, Dom's pretty cool and stuff, but he better BACK OFF cuz he's ruining my lovely fluffy Kel/Neal world! I'm so glad the near-kiss thing worked out! I was really worried it would be kinda corny or whatever, so I'm thrilled you liked it!

**Laurashrub**: Yes! Now, that I answered your question, it's like a weight has been lifted off my chest. Very good. I was SO MAD at Christine taking advantage of the Phantom's affections to escape at the end, then when she came back and he goes, "Christine, I looooove yoou…" and she just gives the ring back… Oh, I cried. I'm getting choked up just thinking about it. And yeah, I just totally made the wedding up! If there's a wedding in Tortall, I couldn't remember for my life, so I was like, "aw, what the heck, I'll make my own wedding!" Thanks for the compliment!

**Kayla**: It is a truly awesome line. Hehehe…

**Jamie Lynn**: Y'know, you're very consistent w/ your reviews! Thanks!

**Heartdamoose**: Ooh, a fork! I'm liking this… I'll be sure to call you up when the assassination of the eeevil Yuki goes down. But who says Neal and Yuki even _will _get married?? Mwahahaha!!! I hope your cough gets better… and those passerby learn.

**Lady Knight 1512**: It's all right, I enjoyed listening to (reading?) you ramble! I need to start an 'I Hate Yuki Club'. You'd join? Haha… I'm totally incredibly psyched that this is one of the best KN fics you've read! I'm gonna have fun working up to that proper fluff, and when I get there, oh, there _will _be FLUFF! Yay! As for tips, I actually don't do rough drafts… For 'A Friend In Need', I completely made it up as I went along. I'd just sit down at my computer and type something up and post it. I usually didn't have the slightest idea of what would happen chapter-to-chapter. At least for this one, I have a plot that will probably last me for a while, but I don't know how much will go in each chapter, or many details. Lol, I have pretty bad writing habits. If I think of any real tips, I promise I'll let you know!

**FanFictionFantom**: NO! I would NEVER let Yuki have my darling! Kel, I have to, b/c I've finally gotten over my jealousy. So don't worry, there won't be a Neal/Yuki wedding on my watch! Oh, sorry if I spoiled it for anyone who thought they'd get married but you should know me a little better by now! Hehehe… Yes, I'm completely insane. Well, at least half of the time.

Disclaimer: None of the characters or settings belong to me. There, you happy?

* * *

The evening after the wedding, some soldiers brought out musical instruments and began to play while a few couples danced. Kel watched Raoul and Buri with a grin. Her former knight-master was a full head taller than his new wife. Someone in a dark blue tunic stepped in front of her, blocking her view of the dance floor. She looked up into twinkling sapphire eyes. Dom smiled and bowed to her.

"May I have this dance, Lady Keladry?"

Kel laughed lightly and almost curtsied, but bowed instead. She was still the realm's second lady knight, no matter how much the court lady she looked at the moment. "It would be my pleasure," she replied, letting the handsome sergeant lead her to the other dancing couples. He put a gentle hand around the small of her back while the other one tripped one of hers. Her other hand she rested his shoulder. "I think it's only fair of me to warn you," she said, "that I haven't the slightest idea how to dance."

Dom pretended to wince exaggeratedly as she lightly stepped on his foot by accident. "Really? I never would have guessed!"

She kicked him in the shin. "Oh shush!" she said, trying to mask her laugh with an aggravated scowl. Dom pretended to pout, causing Kel's angry mask to disintegrate. She sneaked a glance over at Yuki and Neal. They were gliding gracefully around the floor, gazing dreamily into each other's eyes. She sighed, thinking, _I wish I were that composed and elegant. Yuki always knows what to say, what to do, she's graceful, and deadly. _Dimly she became aware of Dom's worried voice. "I'm sorry," she said, shaking her head slightly, "what was that?"

He furrowed his brow, the very image of concern. "I asked, are you all right? You look troubled."

"Oh, no I'm fine, really," she reassured him. When the song ended, Neal approached them.

"Mind if I steal your partner?" he asked Dom.

Dom glanced at Kel, who smiled nervously and gave a small shrug to show it was okay. "Knock yourself out Meathead," he said with a grin.

Neal watched his cousin leave to find another dance partner. "That's _Sir _Meathead," he muttered. Kel gave an unladylike snort. As the makeshift band started back up, Neal held out his arms. "Shall we?"

Kel hesitantly put her hand in his and he wrapped a lanky arm around her waist. Neal was a wonderful dancer; he managed to lead her so she could avoid stepping on his feet. _I wonder where he got so good… Probably the university, _Kel thought. She began to relax as they swooped around with the music, a lively waltz. Then she looked up into Neal's face. He had a strange look on his face and was gazing into her eyes with such intensity that it both enchanted and scared Kel. She took a sharp breath and looked away quickly. Eventually she noticed that they slowly drifted away from the rest of the dancers. Curious, she let Neal steer her off of the dance floor and into the shadows behind the mess hall nearby. There he let go of her.

"What is it?" she asked, puzzled.

Neal scuffed a shoe in the dirt on the ground nervously. "Well, ah…"

"You're ruining your dress boots," she alerted him. He jerked as if he hadn't known he was rubbing his foot in the dirt and stopped.

"Actually Kel, we _really _need to talk," he said quietly.

She took a deep breath. _This will be awkward,_ she thought unhappily. "I know." She paused. "What happened today?"

"The wedding?"

"No! Dom's right, you really _are_ a Meathead. I was talking about… you know… when we were getting ready."

Neal slumped. "Yeeeah… That."

"I don't know if we were really about to kiss, or _what _happened, I only know that you're engaged to be married, Neal! To one of my best friends! This _can't _happen. You know that-"

She was cut short by Neal's lips on hers. All rational thought flew out of her head as her whole body grew weak from the kiss. Her knees became like jelly and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight against him. Only one thought screamed in her head, rebelling against what her heart and her body wanted. _NO!_

A voice rang out, bringing them back to the real world. "Kel, _Neal_?"

* * *

Aaah! A cliffie! Wow, I actually made 'em kiss… Yeeah, that's not what I had planned, but I couldn't resist the Romantic Fluff Bunnies of Doom any longer! They _made _me do it! Gah, crazy bunnies… Please review! I'm hopelessly addicted to reviews, and I'm starting to go through withdrawal! 


	5. Confession

Okay, so I left you all with a cliffhanger there… I guess I better follow up on that. Lucky for all of you, I'm on a three-day weekend with no homework, due to the end of the term. Though I have to leave in a few hours because I'm in my high school's competition one-act play, and we have to go perform it for the judges today in a competition against about 14 other schools. Wish us luck!

**FanFictionFantom**: Hmm… I've never heard of nine inch nails… ::shrug:: Of course, I don't know much of anything, so that's not really saying much…

**Dreamerdoll**: Oh, I _never_ get annoyed with reviews. Well, unless it's just someone nitpicking just for the sake of finding something wrong with my story, or stupid flaming. But that's sometimes funny. And nitpicking's fine if it helps me improve. So don't worry, you don't annoy me—I love to get really long reviews and stuff, the longer the review, the better! OMG! Who is this Fanta person who hates Neal?!? How could _anyone _not love him? Crazy people… Thanks for the awesome reviews though… lol

**Catgirl80**: Oh I know! I almost cried when Neal died… I could never kill him off. Yeah, about the mystery speaker, I'm still deciding about that. Haha, I don't even know who it'll be and I'm getting ready to write this chapter! This is a really bad habit of mine, never knowing what'll happen next in my own story…

**Lady Knight 1512**: Ah yes… that kiss was nice. I'm jealous of Kel. But I don't envy her having to deal with 'Y'. Hehe, good code name. Love your rambles, they crack me up. Cuz I ramble too. But more of when I'm talking, and when I ramble, or just talk at all, I talk really fast and I'll say this big long thing and at the end people will be like, "What?" _Not _cool. It's like I'm incapable of talking slow. Woe is me… Thanks for all the reviews though, I look forward to longer and longer ramblings. Teeheehee.

**Jamie Lynn**: Thanks for the review… y'know, I'm starting to see a pattern here…

**Annmarie Aspasia**: Well, maybe you can have a few of the bunnies, I might need some for later though. ::hands over some bunnies:: Don't worry, like real bunnies, they multiply fast! Thanks for the encouragement!

The Brunette Dreamer: Thanks for helping with my review withdrawal! Ah! Not a mob of K/N fans! We're a vicious bunch if authors don't update enough—I would know, I'm one of the worst. Hahaha… 

**Laurashrub**: ::GASP!:: What's not good? Well, whatever it is, you seem quite upset about it so I'll do my best to try and resolve it 'forthwith'. Hehehe. Yeah… but the phantom only told Christine to leave because he loved her so much (though I don't know _why _he would), and he knew the people were coming to get him and he didn't want to drag her down too! And Gerard _did _do a great job.

**Dom's Lover**: I'm so glad you love all the stuff! Thanks so much for the compliment on the wedding, I wasn't sure how that would turn out… You're totally right about the 'speak of the devil' thing. I didn't think of that. Hmm… any suggestions of how to fix it?

**Dupdeedub**: Uh oh, Neal's in trouble! Don't worry, Kel won't let him get away with that. Even though I would if he tried to kiss me…

Disclaimer: None of the characters, settings, etc. belong to me.

* * *

This chapter would start in a kind of weird place so I think a bit of a 'flashback' is in order:

* * *

_She was cut short by Neal's lips on hers. All rational thought flew out of her head as her whole body grew weak from the kiss. Her knees became like jelly and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight against him. Only one thought screamed in her head, rebelling against what her heart and her body wanted. NO!_

_A voice rang out, bringing them back to the real world. "Kel, Neal?"_

The two jumped apart and turned to the direction of the voice. Kel's stomach churned as Dom took a couple of steps toward them, but halted, looking unsure. "What in the Goddess's name are you _doing_?" he asked quietly, his voice was full of hurt.

Neal, his hand still around Kel's waist, quickly twirled her around. "I'm teaching Kel to dance! She couldn't get some of the steps and she didn't want to embarrass herself in front of everyone. Imagine what her soldiers would think if their head commander couldn't dance properly! So I, being the gentleman that I am, offered to show her some of the basic steps."

Kel quietly jerked away from him and took a step toward Dom. He only shook his head slightly and backed up away from her. "Don't," he said. "I wonder, _Sir _Meathead, if your _betrothed_ knows you've been giving Kel this… _dancing _lesson?"

"Dom-"

"What, would you like me to tell her? Should she know that you and her best friend are here in the shadows, doing gods know what?"

Neal crossed the distance between him and his cousin before Dom could even react. He grabbed him roughly by the shoulder and pulled his face close. "Listen Dom, don't drag them into this. It's not Kel's fault, and it doesn't involve Yuki. This is just my own…" he paused and let out a ragged breath. "… Stupidity." He finished.

Dom looked over at Kel longingly. "I really wish I believed you, but I don't," he said to Neal. "Kel, I'm sorry that things had to end this way." He shook Neal off and started to walk away. Kel ran after him.

"Dom, wait," she caught up and grabbed him by the arm. "Things don't have to end. I'm _sorry _about what just happened back there. I didn't want that to happen." _Didn't you? _Her mind jeered sinisterly.

His shoulders slumped. He turned slowly and gazed at her earnest face. "Kel, I really thought we had something. I love you, but it doesn't seem to matter to you. I just walked up on you kissing my cousin!"

"It was a _mistake_. I'm so sorry if I've hurt you. I never wanted to. Please, can't we forgive and forget?" Kel was desperate. _I've really screwed it up now. Dom loves me, and I kiss Neal! But I didn't try to kiss him, he just did it!_

He smiled and put a hand on her shoulder. "We can try," he said softly. Then he pulled her into a big hug.

"Thank you Dom," she whispered. Reluctantly, she broke away. "I better go and straighten things out with Meathead."

He nodded, looking slightly wary and dubious. But all he said before he turned back to the dance was "Good luck."

Neal was leaning against the wall of the mess hall when she returned, his head cradled in his hands. He looked so forlorn that Kel wanted to hold him and comfort him, which made her feel even worse that she was about to do the opposite. She stood in front of him with her arms crossed until he looked up.

"Neal, I don't know what you're trying to do, but you're betrothed to be married! That means you can't just kiss me out of the blue!"

He rubbed his temples and sighed. "I… I'm sorry Kel, I don't know what came over me." He looked at her with such a sad sincerity that she felt her resolve soften. "But I'm scared."

"Scared?"

"Of getting married to Yuki. I tried to tell you, and I thought it would be all right. But they aren't. Things with her just don't feel _right_."

"So you try to pick up with _me_? I'm just some worthless tramp you can come to when things aren't _right_? Well forget it. I'm not an item you can use whenever you want to. I'm a _person_ with feelings, Nealan. When you do stupid things like this, you botch up _my _life, my feelings, and my relationships-"she stopped abruptly, a blush creeping up her face as she thought about Dom.

Neal stepped forward and grabbed one of her hands. She tried to wrench it away, but he didn't let go. His eyes were honest as they glistened with unshed tears. "Kel, no, listen to me. It's not like that at all. You have no idea what you mean to me. You're the best friend I've ever had. You've taught me more than any university or training ever could. I'm a better person because of you. I honestly don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you. Kel, I love you."

Kel's head swam and her stomach lurched. Her knees buckled, and Neal caught her and held her. _I cannot believe this… I had no idea…Neal loves me! Am I crazy? He's betrothed to one of my best friends. This ruins everything! But I love him too… What? Where did that come from? But I do! No. This can't change anything. I have Dom now, and he has Yuki. I have to just make this madness stop before we ruin what we have already._

She shook Neal off and straightened. Then she looked Neal in the eye. "No. This is just pre-wedding jitters. You'll feel better once your head's cleared." Then she fled to her rooms, ignoring the sharp pain in her chest and the lump in her throat.

Neal watched her go in despair before he slumped to the ground, buried his head in his arms and sobbed silently.

* * *

Wow, that was angsty and emotional. Hmm… I don't know if I like it. Meh. But the story must go on, and that kiss had to be resolved. Don't worry, I _do _know where this is going! Please review! 


	6. Apologies

Ok, I'm _really, really, really _sorry for not writing for like… 4 months, but I have been SO busy! I was so busy I didn't even notice my writing withdrawal. Yesterday I had about an hour of spare time, and I was un-busy enough to be like, "hey, I have writing withdrawal. I need to write." Plus the story is at a really angsty place and needs to MOVE! Get to the good part!

**Lady Knight 1512**: Yeah, I don't like making Neal sad… it doesn't become him. You're right about how Kel should be w/ Neal cuz he understands her so much better! And he's got so much more character than Dom. Dom just seems kinda hot but bland. I guess his personality wasn't really strong enough in the books for me… Hehe, yeah I went on this really long winded rant about how I can only talk fast when I actually have something to say, and I couldn't talk fast when someone tells me to or I actually try to. It usually happens when I have so much to say and I really wanna say it, and it all comes out at once! I have one friend who doesn't even try to understand me anymore- she just watches how fast my mouth moves for a laugh! Now look, you've got me rambling too! Hahaha… it's a curse.

**I LOVE Dom**: I could've guessed from the name… thanks though!

**Laurashrub**: I know! I could never bear it if Neal died… so I better patch up this situation right away.

**HyperLittleCat**: I like your name! Yes, Kel and Neal are the best… well, that is, except for me and Neal… lol I'm a nerd. Always in love with fictional characters… How is Meathead odd? Is it cuz he's actually sensitive? I just wanna know cuz I hate having my stories OOC.

**Jamie Lynn**: Wow, I'm impressed… a more than five-word review! Hahaha, just kidding. What about Dom? You know you love Neal… or… maybe not…

**FanFictionFantom**: Really? You thought it was bootiful? Yay! Yeah, the threat of an angry mob coming after me keeps me goin'!

**Phanogyph**: Oh my gosh are you kidding! You really think my story's that good? I love you! That's like the best compliment I've ever gotten! Or that I can remember… But it's motivation enough to make me write more!

**Dom's Lover**: I'm with you, Kel and Neal should just tell Yuki and Dom to stick it where the sun don't shine so they can be together. Thanks for the Neal compliment, he's pretty much the only character I can write really well, I'm especially bad at Kel, so I have to try harder than usual. But if it turns out well, it's all worth it!

**White-wolf2**: Don't you just hate writer's block? It's probably the worst thing I can think of right now… well, except for being sick and not being able to talk, which I am right now. So I guess I have to write all the more to make up for my lack of voice.

**Annmarie Aspasia**: Enjoy those bunnies, go write a ridiculously fluffy Kel/Neal story w/ em! Hahaha…

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my somewhat unoriginal plot… everything else belongs to Tamora Pierce.

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As soon as the door of Kel's room closed behind her, she leaned back against it and slowly sank to the floor, her eyes stinging. _This can't be happening…Especially to me! I wanted to become a knight to avoid this drama and tainted romance! Why does Neal have to do this? WHY? _

The nagging little voice in the back of her head answered, _Because he's Neal. When has Neal not made a mountain of every molehill, a drama over every confusion?_

Kel leaned her head back against the thick wood of the door with a dull thud. _And what about Dom? _She thought miserably. _He doesn't trust me. Or he doesn't trust Neal. He doesn't trust us together. Does he really love me? Do I really love _him_? I'll just be relieved when we leave for New Hope tomorrow… I just need some time away from all this, from everyone. But Neal will be there…_ She groaned and stiffly rose to her feet. Thoughts of Neal plagued her as she washed, undressed, and sank into bed. As she drifted off she found herself reliving the kiss. Subconsciously she smiled slightly and thought, _Aside from Dom seeing and almost hating me, and Neal's my best friend, and he's getting married to my other best friend…It wasn't all that bad… _

Kel awoke in remarkably good spirits the next morning. She whistled softly as she dressed and glided through a pattern dance. Until she remembered the events of the previous night. She pressed a hand to her eyes and wondered how she was going to face Neal. "Like nothing happened," she said to herself after a minute. "It really was nothing; it didn't mean anything, so I won't act like it did. He's my best friend after all, it would be silly to let something ridiculous like that… kiss… get in the way." She nodded decisively, then sighed and shook her head slightly. "Talking to myself… I'm going insane."

Neal never did show up at breakfast, and Yuki began to look quite concerned. "Do you know what happened to him last night?" she asked Kel, "He disappeared, then I found him much later, looking as if someone had died!"

It was hard for Kel to put on her Yamani mask and lie to her friend, but she did. "I didn't see him. I went to bed a bit early; I wasn't feeling well." _Well at least the last part's true, _she thought.

An hour later, Kel's entire group was packed and ready and waiting by the gate to leave—except Neal. He still hadn't appeared that morning. She looked around for him nervously, wondering where he was, and more importantly, why he wasn't there. Finally she handed Hoshi's reigns to the nearest man. "Hold these, I need to look for that idiot healer of ours," she ordered.

"He's probably still in his room!" she grumbled to herself. He's not making this any better by moping about. She quickly made it to his chamber and knocked hard on the door. There was no answer. She huffed in frustration and knocked again, even harder and called out, "Neal, it's me. Open the door right now!"

She heard some stirring within and Neal's voice calling hoarsely, "Kel?"

"Yes. Open the door!"

She heard a thud and some footsteps before the door opened, revealing an extremely bedraggled Neal. He looked at her sadly, eyes red and tired. "May I come in?" Kel asked. He said nothing but moved aside to admit her.

His room was as messy as he was, if not more. Kel gaped around the room then looked at her friend. "Neal, what is going on? We were supposed to leave by now."

For once in his life, Neal didn't say anything. He merely looked away from her inquiring gaze.

"Are you upset about last night?" Though he didn't reply, she knew the answer. "I'm sorry. I really am. But you don't love me. Not like that. We're best friends. There's nothing else there." It hurt her to say it. "You... you have Yuki."

He looked at her and shook his head. "But she doesn't have me. Not really." He clasped her shoulder and looked her in the eyes. "Kel, I don't know _how _many times I have to tell you this! I don't love her! I can't marry Yuki! I know she's your friend, and you don't want to see her get hurt, but we're friends too Kel. Why don't you believe me? Can't you see that _I'm _hurting?"

Kel stared at him. In an instant he had lost his weariness and now behind his shining eyes she saw anger, loneliness, sadness, longing, hurt, and passion. "Oh Neal… I'm sorry…" she sighed, her frustration and anger melting. They caught each other up in a tight embrace and just stayed there. Kel closed her eyes and thought how safe and comforting it felt, and she never wanted to let go. Finally, reluctantly, she loosened her hold as said quietly, "Alright. You really do need to clean up this mess. We're supposed to get back to New Hope this afternoon, and we'll lucky if we even get there tonight."

He slowly pulled away. "You're right, dear girl, I don't know how our poor people will manage much longer without their cherished chief healer," he sniffed loftily. "I'll be ready soon." Kel smiled at him and turned to leave. "Kel?" Neal called out as she turned the doorknob. She looked back at him expectantly. "I'm sorry. For ruining everything."

"You didn't ruin everything, Neal. You're so dramatic!" Kel said, shaking her head with a smile as she left the room. But secretly she was wondering what he was going to do about his engagement to Yuki.

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It was so hard to write again after so long! I hope it was ok... review and tell me what you think!


	7. Journey Home

Writing is so much like a drug for me it's scary. Once I stop for a while, I go through withdrawal, then spend all my time doing it instead of my homework and stuff. And then I can't stop. It takes over my life! My boring civics class is, instead of used for learning, a great time to think of new ideas for my fic. Which is, I guess, a good thing for readers, but quite so good for my grades…… heh. But that's ok, I'm really naturally lucky on tests and stuff, that's part of how I still have A's in everything. Ok, enough of my bragging and rambling. Story time! Well, reviewer time first. _Then _story time!

**FanFictionFantom: **Yeah, some people just don't get it! Like I know someone who's reading Squire right now, and they like CLEON of all people! I was like, "But he's such a dolt!" and she goes, "but he loves Kel so much, and he's really sweet," and I go, "ok, he's a sweet dolt. But a dolt all the same." Just goes to show that not all people have good enough taste to know that Kel and Neal belong together. That's why I'm practically incapable of writing any other kind of 'ship. Thanks for my first new review in like….4 months. It was so weird when the first one came… like traveling back to an old/new life… lol I sound so profound.

**Dreamerdoll: **I seriously love your reviews. Y'know, some reviews are just like, "hey. Cool. Like once I got one that said, "nice… I guess…" and I'm like, "okeee, why did you even bother?" But your reviews are so sweet and stuff! It was so hard to make Kel mean to Neal, I just love him too much to see him so sad! Don't you just HATE it when your reviews disappear? I wrote a super-long, super-awesome one once, and I'm a really bad review writer, so it took a while, then bloop! Something happened and it was gone. I just stared at the computer screen for the longest time before snapping and screaming obscenities and hitting the computer and throwing chairs…. Nah just kidding about the snapping part. But I'll make this chapter SO GOOD that you'll be reinspired to write a really long review for me, cuz those really are my favorite kind! Haha…… Thanks for the many reviews though. It was weird, I got like 4 from you from 2 chapters, awesome. It made my evening to get so many great reviews at once.

**Elerrina: **Ooooooh hurry up on your Kel/Neal story! It's so hard to find really good ones. I'm so narrow-minded, I usually don't even read the other 'ships. Thank you for all the really awesome compliments, and I'm really glad that I had few grammatical mistakes in the story, I save all those for up here. Seriously, I use Microsoft Word, and there's this little spell/grammar check thing that automatically underlines in red and green the mistakes, and my page is full of little squiggly lines… Woe is me. Even that sentence isn't right. The checker seems to think it should be "Woe is I". I just can't win!

**wolf-deamon-of-the-north-: **Yessssss… Yuki squashed like a bug. Mwahaha!

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Kel watched Yuki embrace Neal and kiss him lightly on the cheek. To anyone that wasn't trained in the Yamani ways, it would appear that Yuki wasn't at all sad or emotional over the departure of her betrothed. But Kel saw a flicker the worry, sadness, and love in her friend's face as the mask broke for an instant. _Neal would be a fool to give her up; she loves him so much, _she thought, ignoring the slight pain somewhere in her stomach as Yuki brushed a lock of Neal's hair out of his eyes and he smiled at her. Kel was interrupted from her reverie by a hand on her shoulder. She looked up into Dom's sparkling eyes.

"You're leaving already?" he asked, a slightly desperate tone in his voice.

"We would have left hours ago if Meathead had been out of bed!" she replied jokingly.

He laughed, to Kel it sounded half-hearted. "We'll really miss you. _I'll _really miss you," he said, searching her eyes to see if she felt the same way.

She looked down, avoiding his gaze. "Are you staying here?"

"For a little while, at least. We thought it wouldn't be a proper honeymoon for Raoul and Buri to ride into battle together. We probably have about a week before we head up north. They need us at Northwatch."

Kel nodded, not knowing what to say. Then she remembered that she'd never congratulated her former knight-master. In fact, in all the recent drama, she hadn't really talked to him at all. She couldn't leave without at least saying 'hello'. "Dom, I'm really sorry, but I have to find Raoul. Do you know where he is?"

Dom looked slightly dejected. "He was in the mess hall when I saw him last."

"Thanks. I'll be back in a little bit," Kel said over her shoulder as she trotted off to look for Raoul.

She found him, as Dom had predicted, finishing the last of his breakfast with Buri in the mess hall. He caught sight of Kel as he stood and abandoned his plate to hurry over and envelop her in a big hug. "Kel! It seems like I haven't seen you in ages! How have you been? How are things at New Hope?" He held her at arm's length. "Where have you been this whole time?"

Kel laughed. "I've been… busy," she said, "but New Hope couldn't be better. We have to leave in a few minutes. I just had to congratulate you and Buri before we do. What's it like to be a married man?"

Raoul beamed at Buri as she appeared at his side. "You know, it's not _nearly _as bad as I had thought."

They all talked for a few minutes, until one of Kel's men appeared in the doorway and called to her. "We'll be needing to leave now, Lady Knight. We're a bit late."

Kel sighed. It had been a long time since she'd seen Raoul and Buri, and she wasn't happy to say good-bye. The three exchanged farewells and Kel headed outside to set off. She had just mounted Hoshi when Dom appeared again.

"Just had to say good-bye again," he said, taking her hand as she leaned down to hear him. He closed the space between their faces and pressed his lips against hers. Kel suddenly wished that she were anywhere but there. _Why don't I enjoy this? This is what I've always wanted! Dom, handsome, sweet, funny Dom loves me, and he kisses me, and I would rather be fighting one of Blayce's old killing machines! _She was grateful when Neal cleared his throat loudly beside her and Dom pulled away.

"If you don't mind…" he drawled, acting like his old self again.

Dom smiled at Kel. "Good-bye, Lady Knight," he said, releasing her hand. She only managed a weak smile in return before the gate opened and she and her men left Fort Steadfast.

The first bit of the trip was quiet, all the men tired from the party the night before. After a while, Neal pulled up to Kel. "So… It looked like you and a certain cousin of mine were getting along _very _well," he remarked.

Kel glared at him, her stomach knotting up.

"What? You look like you didn't enjoy kissing the second handsomest man in the realm!"

Kel stiffened.

"Well, now I think I _know _you didn't enjoy kissing the second handsomest man in the realm. Kel, what's going on? I thought I was the only one having romance problems."

Kel was silent for a moment. "I don't know," she said resignedly, "I like him well enough, just… I can't even figure it out."

Neal gave her a sad smile. "At least we'll be able to get away from it all when we get back to New Hope. No romance there, just a lot of _work_." He frowned at the thought.

Kel laughed at his disappointment and shook her head. Neal could always make her feel better. They rode in companionable silence for a long time. Finally Kel had a thought. "Neal?"

"Hmm?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Who is the first handsomest man in the realm?"

He gaped at her. "You even had to ask? It's me of course!"

She smiled mischievously at him. "I don't know… Faleron _is _pretty good-looking."

They both laughed as he cuffed her shoulder. Neal grinned at Kel and she felt her stomach slip as she looked into his eyes. There was so much feeling, passion, behind those eyes. She could get lost so easily in the endless green… She never wanted to look away. But she was afraid to stay. She was afraid of giving in to her feelings and afraid of hurting her friends. Most of all, she was afraid of losing him. Slowly those eyes changed from laughing to concern. She became dimly aware of him speaking to her.

"Kel? Kel, are you all right?"

She blinked and shook her head slightly. "Sorry, I'm fine."

He lowered his eyebrows and looked at her, concerned. "Alright… you just looked… I don't know… scared or something," he said softly.

Kel shook her head again. "No, I'm perfectly fine." She looked down at her hand holding the reins. It shook. She ventured a glance back at Neal, who was watching her carefully. "Afraid of what?"

He looked troubled. "Me." He was silent for a moment, then looked around at their darkening surroundings. Kel looked up ahead. In the darkness she could make out New Hope's flickering flag. Neal smiled at her. "Welcome home."

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Aren't you all proud of me? I updated again so soon! And I got some fluff in there… whooo…. Fluff makes me happy. Has anyone heard of the musical Wicked? I love it! I just got the soundtrack last night. My sisters are already trying to steal it. Anyway, be a dear and leave me a lovely review please? 


	8. Troubling News

After many weeks, final exams, a week in Branson, Missouri, and two at Stringwood Chamber Music Camp (Yes, I'm an orch dork), I'm finally back to writing!

**FanFictionFantom:** Short is fine, as long as it's encouraging. I think I'm seriously addicted to updating… Probly cuz of the reviews…

**SkySong: **I am updating, finally, sorry it took so long! I really do love it when people tell me to write more and update soon—it tells me they actually do like my story and want to read more!

**White-wolf2: **Thanks much!

**Laurashrub: **Well, thanks for the review… even if I'm not really sure what you meant. Yuki can weave a glaive?

**Bbllgirl4ever: **Thanks, and yes you should post something—a Kel/Neal story!

**Lady Knight 1512: **Yay! I missed your reviews! Yeah, Dom is too much of a womanizer—not like our gorgeous and sweet Neal! Yeah, I had to make him kiss her, to get a reaction and make him look worse. I had to work so long on that riding part, I'm usually not good at that kind of stuff. Thanks for the awesome reviews! You really, REALLY need to update your story, 'My Greatest Fear'—It's so good!

**BigBigStarr: **Don't you just LOVE fluff that makes you get all giddy? Those are the kind of stories I put on my favorite list and read over and over and over… Your friends are so lucky to have seen Wicked! It's coming to MN next summer, and I am SO going to see it! Thanks for the review!

Ok, I forgot to do disclaimers: I am not Tamora Pierce (as if anyone would think that) and I do not own any of the characters (not even my love Neal, tear) settings or anything else.

* * *

Fanche greeted the party at the gate. "I can safely say that we managed alone much better than the last time you left," she said with a crooked smile. "A small raiding party, maybe fifteen men, stopped by, but we finished them off easily. Their shields and flags made a nice addition to the western wall."

Kel grinned as she dismounted and let Tobe take Hoshi away. She saw Loesia run up to meet him near the stables. Gydo and Meech trailed not far behind.

"Sir Merric's waiting for us in headquarters," Fanche was saying to Neal, as more children took the other horses away.

Neal mock-bowed to Kel. "Milady," he said, offering his arm. Kel took it with a laugh as Fanche rolled her eyes and led the way to headquarters. Kel stopped to greet each refugee they met on the way with a smile, handshake, and a few words. They all seemed happy to see their knight commander and camp healer back, though none looked the worse for wear.

Merric greeted each of them at headquarters with a smile and firm handclasp. "How was the wedding?" he asked as they sat down.

"Beautiful," said Kel.

"I wish I could have gone," he sighed, settling back in his chair.

"Did you even know them?" Fanche asked him.

Merric shrugged. "No, but a vacation's a vacation, all the same."

Everyone laughed, even Fanche, before settling down for business.

"So how was New Hope while we were away?" asked Kel. Everything had looked well upon their return.

"We were only attacked once, and my lads and I didn't even have to lift a finger. By the time we heard the horn call and came from the northern woods where we were patrolling, the refugees had shot them all, down to a one," Merric said. "I was impressed; they're a good bunch."

Kel smiled and looked at Fanche. "There have been the normal squabbles, of course, but the counsel system has been working well," said the older woman. "Irnai, the seer girl, she's been havin' fits lately. She'll just freeze in the middle of what she's doin' and start twitchin'. Sometimes she'll speak, and it's of 'terrible things' and death. We didn't know what to make of it."

Kel and Neal exchanged a look. _Terrible things? _She thought worriedly. _We defeated Maggur's main weapon, and they were our biggest threat._

Neal looked thoughtful. "Maybe…," he mused, "Maybe someone figured out how to re-create the killing devices. Blayce wasn't the only mage who knew necromancy. Many actually practice it in secret. It _does _have many uses. In fact I once met a fellow who preferred the company of the dead. He'd capture the spirits of the dead in ordinary objects. He hadn't figured out how to make them talk yet though. It's very disconcerting to sit on a live chair that tells you how uncomfortable it is…"

Kel stared at him as Fanche and Merric made the sign against evil on their chests. Sometimes she wondered how her friend knew of such things, but then she remembered something he'd said once, 'You meet the most interesting people, riding with the Lioness. They're usually friends with her husband.' But she couldn't force herself to believe that someone else could commit such a revolting crime as the Nothing Man had. She looked at the three people sitting around the table. "We'll send for Daine in the morning. She'll know if any such thing has happened," Kel said decisively. "I just pray to the gods that no creature tries to use the spirits for evil again," She added, half to herself. The others bowed their heads and muttered,

"So mote it be."

* * *

Sorry it was so short! I've taken a bit of an unintentional vacation from writing, and sometimes it's hard to get back. But don't worry, the story's about to start moving! Please review!

I've been looking for a beta to check my work and just generally help out- if anyone knows of someone good who would like to help out or would like to volunteer, I'd be eternally grateful.


	9. A Dramatic Entry

Ugh, I have writer's block SO bad. Not cool. So that's why it's taken so long…

**FanFictionFantom: **Muchos gracias! Hablo espanol un pocito.

**Kings Lioness: **Thanks, and I read your story and love it! Keep going!

**Memily89: **No way! You are so lucky! I can't wait to see it next summer!

**Laurashrub: **Hmm, never heard that expression before. I thought it was wield. Whatever. Woot for non-romantic drama, which isn't quite as fun as romantic drama, but there's less of a risk of corny-ness, which in my case, happens too often, I'm afraid. Thanks!

**Jasmineb: **I like the way you think. Seriously, did you read my mind? But let's keep it hush hush for a little while, cuz we don't want to spoil anything for everyone else…

**Crazyfortamorap: **Sounds good to me!

**Lady Knight 1512: **Hi! Of course I missed your reviews, and long ramblings. I seriously love your story, "My Greatest Fear"( everybody go read it, it's really good!) I'm really flattered that you like my style and stuff. My favorite reviews are the ones where someone compliments my writing itself, and my style/voice. I'd be thrilled it you'd be my beta. How about I'll start e-mailing the chapters before I post them and you can proofread and make suggestions and stuff? Thanks for everything!

Disclaimer: Sad little me don't own anything except my fried brain.

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Kel worried as she lay in her bed that night. Could someone really be following Blayce's footsteps and enslaving the dead? _But wouldn't the Chamber warn me if that were happening? _She wondered. _Maybe it's going to happen, but has not happened yet. The killing devices had already been used for a year or so by the time the Chamber spoke to me. Maybe it won't this time. It _did _say that we were finished. Perhaps it's not my destiny to solve this. But then why did Irnai have those visions?_ She cursed the anxiety that plagued her as the string of worries continued to unwind. Finally the exhaustion of the long journey that day caught up with her and she drifted off into a restless sleep.

The next morning Kel went through her morning exercises with a Tobe who was irritatingly chipper. She glared at him, wishing she felt as bright as he did. Her night of poor sleep showed and was taking its toll on her aching body. She decided that it would be best to send for Daine as soon as possible. As she watched the messenger gallop away down the road with the quick note she'd had the clerks write up for her, her stomach grumbled loudly. "I'm going!" she muttered to her protesting belly before trotting off to the mess hall for breakfast.

"Well good morning, Sunshine," Neal drawled at her as she sat down across from him. "Sleep well?"

Kel glowered at him before slumping down and resting her head and arms on the table. "I feel as if I died, the Black God thought I wasn't good enough, and sent me back," she moaned. She felt a gentle cool touch on one hand and felt some of the pain ease immediately. Looking up at Neal holding her hand, magic flowing from his body to hers, she shook her head and yanked it away.

"Just trying to help," he said weakly.

Kel felt guilty and smiled at him. "You don't suppose we could take a break, from it all? Just few a few days, or weeks, or months…?"

He pushed his hair with a rueful smile in return. "Not with this chill setting in, I'm afraid. First frost was last night."

A sigh escaped Kel. "Lovely. Our first refugee camp winter- let's see how that goes. At least the building is all finished."

"That's the spirit! At last our ever-optimistic Protector of the Small returns," teased Neal. "Way to see the bright side of the situation."

She glared at him. "You're not going to see _any _side if you don't stop calling me that idiotic name."

He shook his finger at her. "Tsk, tsk, Kel. It's who you are! You really need to stop running away from yourself," he pretended to lecture.

Kel was not in the mood for teasing. "Fine, I'll just run away from you," she said, getting up and taking her tray to the washers. As she stormed out of the mess hall, she heard Neal's distinct call: "So long, Protector of the Small!" and the hearty laugh it drew from the other people in the hall.

She decided to take a walk up on the wall to clear her head. She walked around once, greeting each soldier she met. After her walk, she leaned on the edge overlooking the road. A lone horse galloped into view, carrying a man and a small brownish form. It was a bird. Kel started, leaning farther over the edge, ignoring her dislike of heights as she tried to see better. As they rode closer, she realized that it was the messenger she had sent out earlier that morning. He was carrying Daine in hawk form. Kel wheeled around and hurtled down the stairs to meet them as they rode through the gate. She took Daine before the man slid off his horse, which was exhausted and covered with sweat from the hard ride. Other people started crowding around, trying to see what was happening. Among them were Tobe and Neal.

"Lady, who is it? Wha's happenin'?" Tobe shouted, trying to get to her.

Kel grabbed the horse's reins and waded through the crowd to him. "Will you take care of his horse?" she requested, handing the reins to him. The boy nodded and made his way to the stables, the weary horse trailing behind him.

She then looked over to where Neal had been standing only a moment before, but he wasn't there. A voice in her ear startled her.

"Are you alright? You look a little overwhelmed." She whirled around to look into Neal's concerned green eyes.

She nodded. "I just don't like big crowds like this."

He grinned. "I think I can help." He held up a green-glowing hand in front of his mouth and spoke into it, his voice magically amplified. "Attention! Please return to your work. We will conduct a thorough investigation of the matters at hand and post our findings." As the crowd disbanded, Kel smiled at her best friend and clasped his shoulder in thanks. He wrapped an arm around her comfortingly. Kel looked down at the sleeping bird-Daine in the crook of one of her arms.

"We better get her to the infirmary. Could you send for Merric?" she asked a soldier who had lingered nearby.

"Yes milady," he said, trotting off to carry out her orders.

A wave of exhaustion swept over Kel and she leaned her head on Neal's shoulder briefly. As she looked once again into his emerald eyes, she realized that, like so often lately, they were full of unreadable emotion.

_This is going to be a long day.

* * *

Sorry it's so short. It's pretty late and I just found out halfway through writing this that my grandfather died tonight. So it might take a little while for the next update._

Please review!


	10. Terrible Things

I'm going to try to write some more, but I guess I'll see how long it actually takes me to write this chapter… Thanks so much for everyone for the words of comfort about my grandpa. The wake and funeral were beautiful, and I got to play violin for both. I also got to see my whole extended family on my mom's side for the first time in several years, which was great. After we spent about two weeks down south, (my mom decided to spend a couple days at the beach while we were down there, then we stopped in Virginia and Ohio for a day each to visit relatives) we finally got home. I have a huge violin audition for my youth symphony coming up, so I've been practicing like crazy cuz we have this insanely hard audition piece. Then I had a weekend-long Catholic youth conference called Steubenville last weekend, so I've been somewhat busy, so I kind of have an excuse for not updating in so long…

**Kings Lioness: **Really? It's not so obvious that it's going to be Kel/Neal? Well, if anyone knows me, they'll know that I could never write a Kel/Dom. I'm just too in love with Neal… hahaha… Thanks, and I'm sorry it took so long.

**FanFictionFantom: **Thanks. I'm really gonna miss the funny old guy.

**Gaerwen: **I'm so glad I've convinced you! I'm bringing someone over to the good side! Haha… Thanks so much, I always thought they were meant to be.

**Moonlightrider74: **Don't worry, I've got a plan…

**Kelly Masbolle: **Well, I'm glad you did review! Thanks!

**Lady Knight 1512: **Thanks about my grandpa. I'm hoping I'll be able to get a few chapters up before school starts back up on September 6th. (gag) I'm so glad the Neal teasing turned out cute- I was afraid it would be a little too much. And even if "annoyingness" isn't a real word, it's a good one.

**Laurashrub: **Ahh the mysteries of the English language… haha that didn't sound so nerdy in my head…

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.

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Once they had arrived at the infirmary, Neal gently poured his magic into the hawk-Daine until she had strength enough to transform back into human. A healer fetched clothes for her as Kel and Neal looked away while she changed. After she was finished, they turned back to hear her story. Kel noted with concern that Daine looked extremely pale and distress lined her normally smooth features. Neal placed a hand on one of Daine's and gave her some more of his energy. When she looked a little stronger, she began to talk.

"Kel, Fort Steadfast was attacked unexpectedly in the dead of the night last night. I don't know how… they weren't human…" her eyes widened and she shuddered. "It was as if they had floated in with the fog. We were all asleep, and all of a sudden, they just flooded in through the gate and… and…"

Kel glanced at Neal, who caught her gaze. Kel felt a familiar fluttering sensation in her stomach. _What is wrong with me? _She thought. "Daine, _who,_ or _what _flooded in?" she asked urgently.

Daine stared at them, gray-blue eyes terrible with the memory. "_Spirits!_"

Both Kel and Neal made the sign against evil across their chests, along with a couple nearby healers who had been eavesdropping.

"What do you mean, 'spirits'?" Neal asked.

Daine drew in a breath. "They were like people, you could see their shapes; they were there, but they _weren't _there. You could just reach right through them! They must have been the spirits of dead Scanrans; you could see their wounds and everything. There was even one without a head," she explained, looking slightly sick. "The soldiers were useless against them, only the mages could hurt them. I don't know how, but they just kept killing, and killing, and we could do nothing to stop them. Eventually, everyone who was left fled. I made it into the woods before I collapsed. I started flying here at first light when I woke, and found your messenger on the way there, and got him to turn around. I don't know where the spirits went, or our people," she finished, her voice threatening to break.

By that point, everyone in the infirmary was listening, and a horrified silence spread like a disease throughout the building. Everyone repeated the Gods' sign on their chests. Kel felt anger and disgust bubbling up inside her, making her feel sick.

_How could someone do this?_ She wondered, trying to force the nauseous feeling back down. Even as she thought it, she knew the answer. _Unless they were desperate for a weapon to win the war. _Suddenly, she remembered something. _This is the beginning of the 'terrible things' Irnai spoke of_.

"But how?" Neal whispered hoarsely. "They need to have a shell, something to contain them…" His gracefully arched brows furrowed in thought.

Kel understood what he meant. When Blayce had used the spirits of dead children, he had captured them in the metal dome-head of the killing devices. How could spirits just maintain their form without something to hold them together? What kind of evil magic was this? The most important thing, she knew, was finding as many survivors as they could. "Who escaped?" she asked, almost not wanting to hear the answer.

Daine's clear eyes clouded with tears as she thought. "Lord Raoul managed to escape with some of his men, I think they rode south to alert King Jonathan. I don't know about Buri." A tear streaked down her dirty cheek, leaving a muddy track. She bit her lip and continued, "I think I saw Lord Wyldon, some soldiers, the ones who realized they couldn't fight-"

"_Yuki?" _Neal whispered, his eyes wide, his face full of pure terror and dread.

Daine's face filled with compassion and sorrow as she slowly shook her head. "I don't think… Oh Neal, I'm so sorry…"

Kel couldn't feel her body. She just felt numb, disbelieving. _Yuki can't be dead. She was too strong, too young, and too perfect to die! NO! She's not gone!_ She had lost so many before, but never such a close friend. Yuki was more like a sister. Kel could see her friend's warm, dark eyes twinkling in mischief, the plump Yamani fussing over Kel's hair, throwing and catching her _shukusen_ so gracefully, wielding a glaive with deadly skill.

In her shock, Kel dimly registered the chair next to her scraping back and tipping over as Neal stumbled to his feet and blindly raced out of the infirmary. Hardly realizing what she was doing, Kel made a hasty excuse to Daine and bolted after him. Once outside, she had to look around before she saw him, still running toward the wall. Shaking her head, she dashed after him. _Gods, he is fast! _She thought, remembering briefly their page days when Lord Wyldon had made them all run the curtain and Neal had always lead the pack. She reached the stairs behind him and climbed up to the upper wall. Neal was leaning on the wall overlooking the road, his back to her.

He watched the road, half-blinded by tears, as if expecting his love to come around the bend any moment. He didn't turn as Kel approached and stood next to him. When she placed a gentle hand on his arm, he jumped slightly, realizing she was there for the first time. He turned his tear-streaked face toward her, tears still falling from his endless emerald eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't find his voice or the words to say. Kel, as hard as she tried to suppress her emotion, felt her throat knot painfully and her eyes sting before the tears started to fall. She knew no words were necessary though, as she stepped into his arms and let him hold her tightly as they cried.

Time passed without meaning as they heard the camp slowly fill with sound. The refugees cried and used soft words to comfort the grieving. Prayers were sent up to the Black God to watch over the dead.

Kel had no idea how long she and Neal stood there together, grieving for a friend and loved one and many others. She took comfort from his strong arms tight around her as she buried her face in his shoulder, his tears wetting her hair. As the sun set and the sky around them grew dark, she heard Neal whisper four words, scarcely audible;

"_Yuki's death...my fault_."

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This chapter turned out sooo emotional and stuff. I hope it's not too much, I kind of like this one. Well, at least I got rid of Yuki… haha I'm so terrible. Well, tell me what you think—review! 


	11. Guilt

So I've finally scraped up some time to try to write another chapter, because I know I left it at a terrible spot. I'll just warn everyone that it probably won't be the best, since I'm pretty rusty from lack of writing in the past few months.

:Apparently, we can't post reviewer replies anymore—or at least that's what I heard. I'm pretty bummed out, but I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter, or any chapter. I really appreciate reviews:

Extra thanks to my awesome beta, Lady Knight 1512!

**Disclaimer:** All I own is my twisted plot.

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Kel pulled away from Neal and peered into his face. He met her stare for a second, then his gaze flickered to the ground and stayed there.

"Neal, what do you mean?" she asked incredulously, "How could it be your fault? You didn't have anything to do with those spirits…Did you?"

The setting sun behind him made it impossible to see his expression, but he shook his head slightly and shifted uncomfortably.

"No," he whispered so softly that Kel had to lean closer to him to hear. "I didn't do that, but it's my fault that she's gone." He shuddered and turned so that he was facing away from Kel.

It was Kel's turn to shake her head, but in puzzlement. She couldn't see how Neal had anything to do with Yuki's sudden and tragic death.

"Neal," she tried again, gently, laying a tentative hand on his arm, "what is this all about? You couldn't possibly have anything to do with this. _This isn't your fault_."

At that, he whirled around quickly and seized her hands in his own. "Yes, it is!" he cried in desperation. "Don't you see?"

Kel could only shake her head again in confusion so Neal went on, "All of this, everything that's happened in the last few days, has all been because I'm such a coward!" Kel felt his unfathomable emerald eyes boring into her own, and understood the pain he was feeling, but she could not comprehend why. "It's because I was so afraid to marry Yuki—afraid that I would be locked into a loveless marriage, and everything just seemed so wrong. Then everything she did seemed to bother me, even if I couldn't put my finger on why. I just wanted to escape, and that's where I dragged you into it. I had no right, none at all, to burden you like that. Plain irresponsible—no, selfish, that's what it was. But that's just what I am—a horrible, selfish monster, and now I've killed her!"

He looked so distraught that Kel was half-convinced that he would hurl himself over the wall. She stepped forward and gently but firmly grasped his shoulders. She could only think of one thing to ask: "How?" How could he hold himself responsible for a crisis so horrifying that hundreds of people had ended up murdered? He couldn't seriously consider himself at fault for the appearance of evil in the form of spirits or his fiancée's death, could he?

"Kel, that night at Steadfast, after I kissed you, I was so afraid, so desperate, that I went to the fort's shrines of Mithros and the Goddess, and prayed for some way—any way—to free me from my marriage to Yuki. I didn't want her to get hurt, Kel, I swear! I just wanted her to stop loving me, or realize that our cultures were too different, or even fall in love with another man! But I never, _never,_ thought something like this would happen."

He fell silent, and Kel merely stared at him for a moment in shock. She didn't blame him—how could she? She didn't believe that the Gods didn't answer prayers, but she knew the Gods didn't approve of spirits of the dead roaming and killing where they oughtn't to be: on earth. The Chamber of Ordeal had informed her that it was her duty and destiny to stop the man who had first committed this gross breach of the physical and spiritual realms. They wouldn't use spirits for any purpose on earth at all, much less for killing, especially in answer to a single prayer to which there were other solutions. She also recognized typical Neal behavior when she saw it. It was so like him to hold himself in such importance that he could find his prayer the source of the catastrophe that had occurred the night before. Standing before her, Neal was the picture of guilty misery.

His eyes begged her for understanding. Kel knew he was sorry for the crime he hadn't committed. One part of her almost wanted to laugh with relief that he really wasn't responsible, while the other wanted to cry because she recognized the agony he was going through. She didn't do either, because she knew neither of them would help Neal. Instead she reached up, brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes, and held his face with both her hands, ensuring that he was looking at her, listening to her, and understanding her.

"Listen to me Neal. There was nothing that you could have done to cause or prevent what happened last night. There are some things that are meant to happen, even if we don't understand why, and they can hurt. We can't blame ourselves for what's happened. All we can ever do is try to make it right again. Understand?"

To her immense relief, his expression brightened a little. "Yes," he said, "I do." He smiled weakly at her, and Kel's stomach gave a little lurch. He stepped to the edge of the wall and looked out over the road once again. "And now I know what I have to do."

Kel joined him and looked at him expectantly; waiting for the explanation she knew would come.

Neal nodded decisively. "I can't change what happened," he said, his husky voice growing stronger, "but I _will _make it right."

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And there you have it! Sorry for any OOCness, which was probably the whole chapter, but like I said, I haven't written or read the books in a while. I hope Neal can get back to normal soon; he's no fun when he's emo. Also, sorry it's so short… that seems like a habit that I can't seem to get rid of. So anyway, it would just make my day to get some lovely reviews. If I get enough, I might even be motivated to write another chapter! 


	12. Plans

So I finally got inspiration and time to write again... with questionable results. Not much action, but an important chapter. Hope you enjoy it!

A big thank-you to all the wonderful reviewers and my fabulous beta Lady Knight 1512!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my strange little plot.

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"You can't be serious."

Kel, Neal, and Merric stood in headquarters an hour later. Merric shook his head vigorously, red hair flopping across his forehead. "You can't just pull up and go on some harebrained mission to find the source of these spirits and stop them."

"Why not?" Neal asked, folding his arms stubbornly.

Merric stared at him. "Because!" he exclaimed, "Because it's treason! Because you have hundreds of people here who are depending on you! What are they going to do when their knight commander and healer disappear after a crisis? They're going to panic. And who will they come to? Me! And I'm not going to deal with that. I won't let you go."

Neal smirked and said, "What are you going to do to stop us?"

Merric stepped forward and opened his mouth to argue, but Kel interrupted him. "Merric, listen. The whole army is in a state of disarray right now. Our main force has been hit, and hard. We don't know who's survived and who's dead. We don't know if those spirits are still roaming around, and we don't have time to wait and see. They could hit somewhere else at any moment. We need to solve this _soon_. No one else is in any state to do it. Please understand, we don't have any choice."

Her redheaded friend looked from Neal, arms still crossed and with a triumphant smirk on his face, to Kel, her face blank, but eyes pleading. He smiled wearily. "Why does this seem all too familiar?" he sighed, then said, "You know you're going to get arrested if you're caught. Lord Wyldon will only let you off easy so many times."

Neal grinned. "And that," he said, "is exactly we're _not _going to get caught." Kel looked at him. He seemed rejuvenated, almost back to normal. _I guess he's like me_, she thought, _I always feel bad when there's a problem and I feel useless, but once I've got a task set out to solve the problem, I feel better._

"You can't go alone this time," Merric was saying, "bring a squad or two with you. If you're going to go no matter what I say, I'd at least rather you made it back alive. They're going to be hard put to find replacements for you two if you get yourselves killed."

Kel frowned. "I don't think we can afford to bring them. The refugees might be even more upset if we take away nearly half of their fighting force at a time like this. Besides, we'll move more quickly and be more stealthy if it's just Neal and me."

Merric frowned. "Kel's right," Neal said, nodding. "We don't want an extra twenty men slowing us down. We'll actually be safer by ourselves."

"I must be crazy letting you do this," Merric muttered.

Kel stepped forward and clasped his shoulder. "Thank you for understanding, Merric," she said quietly. "Take care of New Hope if anything happens."

He clasped her shoulder in return. "Don't say that," he whispered in reply, "you'll be fine, you always are." They smiled weakly at each other and stepped apart. Merric reached out to clasp Neal's outstretched hand. "Take care of her, Sir Meathead, and don't let your tongue get you into trouble."

Neal's face was one of shocked innocence. "Me, trouble? Of course not!"

"We'd better start preparing, if we're to leave tonight." Kel said.

Merric stepped back and nodded. "Gods protect you both."

A few hours later, the gate quietly inched shut behind the two lone figures on horseback. They paused for a moment, looked to the home they'd just left, then turned and trotted off into the night.

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Since I worked so hard to get another chapter up, I think you should maybe... leave a review? Please? Even two words would be fine... Even one word would be fine. I'll love you forever, I promise. Okay, now I'm just begging shamelessly, I'll stop now.


	13. Scaling Steadfast's Walls

Thanks to president's day weekend and severe writing addiction, I was able to get another chapter up here! I actually liked this one, and it's a little bit longer, so I hope you enjoy it too.

Thanks to reviewers and Lady Knight 1512 (for being an awesomesuper-speedy beta)!

Disclaimer: All I own is the plot.

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Kel and Neal rode in silence for several leagues. They had agreed that investigating at Fort Steadfast would be the best place to start. The ride gave Kel a lot of time to think- mostly about the insanity of what they were doing. Looking around, she realized that they were passing the place where she had deserted to pursue the abducted refugees the previous summer. _I guess some things don't change_, she thought wryly, _Here I am, running off again on some hopeless mission, with no idea what I'm even looking for. But at least I'm not alone this time._ She looked at Neal, riding beside her. The moonlight threw his face into sharp relief, making it appear haunted and ghost-like. He stared straight ahead, wide mouth set in a grim line, and Kel knew his eyes weren't seeing what was around him. Neal truly was sensitive, and she hated to think of what the crisis at Steadfast was doing to him inside. 

"Neal," she said softly, without thinking.

He jumped slightly, then turned his head to her. "What?"

"I just…" Kel whispered, unsure of what to say. "I just wanted to make sure you're all right."

The moonlight glinted off his shining eyes as he gave her a small smile. "I'm fine," he replied in a husky whisper, "Don't worry about me."

She looked down, not believing him.

"Kel?"

"Yes?" She looked back at him.

"What do you think we'll find? At Steadfast?"

Kel peered down the road, as if the answer lay upon the dark horizon.

"I don't know."

"Are you scared?" His voice was scarcely audible.

She turned back to him and looked him in the eyes, completely serious. "Terrified."

"Me too." He sounded relieved.

Kel reached out a hand into the space between them and met Neal's cold one. With clasped hands, they advanced together, afraid of what they would find at the end of the road.

Kel was dozing when she felt Neal's hand around hers tighten painfully, jolting her back to full consciousness. She glanced at him, and followed his wide-eyed and terrified gaze until her eyes rested upon the tall, familiar walls of Steadfast. The wall and gate were still intact, bearing no sign of the attack that had occurred the previous night. The gate was closed, so Kel knew those who had escaped had left through the secret exit that Daine insisted on having for the animals.

_You'd never guess that anything was wrong here, _thought Kel, _except that there are no guards posted._

As they stared up from the base of the gate, Kel realized that she'd forgotten something very important.

"How do we get in?" she asked, feeling extremely foolish.

Neal squinted up at the wall, then nodded. "I've got an idea." He swung off of Magewhisper and began to rummage through a pack. Moments later he emerged holding a grapple. Kel watched silently as he unrolled the rope, stepped back a few paces, and began to swing the end expertly around above his head. When it reached the right momentum, he released it, sending the metal claw trailing rope soaring over the wall. He pulled the rope back until he felt it catch, then gave it a few extra firm tugs to ensure that it was secure. He then turned to her. "Ready?"

Kel climbed off of Peachblossom, wondering where Neal had acquired that particular skill. "Stay here," she ordered the horse, before joining her friend.

"Would you like to go first?" he asked.

Kel shook her head. "I'll watch you before I try."

Neal approached the wall and, giving the rope a final tug, began to climb. Kel looked around anxiously. What if there was someone still around? She adjusted her weapons so she would be able to reach them easily if she needed to. "Neal," she called. He paused, nearly to the top. "Be careful, we don't know if anyone's still here." He nodded and continued his ascent. Moments later, he disappeared over the edge of the wall, then reappeared to give Kel the signal for "all clear".

Kel looked at the rope and the high wall before her. Taking a deep breath, she grasped the rope with one hand and braced a foot against the wall. Carefully, she reached up with her other hand and grabbed a couple feet above her first. She pulled herself up and placed her other foot against the wall as well, walking them up to match her hands. She repeated the actions, gradually making her way up the wall. Kel kept her gaze glued to the wood of the wall in front of her, refusing to think about how high she was. When she was mere feet from the top, an owl in a nearby tree hooted loudly and took to the air, startling Kel. Her hand that she was reaching with missed the rope, sending her off balance. She gasped, flailing for a grip, as she felt her remaining hand slip. For a moment, time seemed to freeze as Kel felt herself begin to fall. Then a hand grabbed her wrist and held, stopping her descent. Kel's pulse pounded in her ears and her head swam as she glanced down from where she was dangling nearly forty feet above the ground. She gulped and scrambled with her free hand for a grip on the rope. Neal helped pull her over the edge of the wall where they sat together for a few moments, catching their breath. Kel leaned against him, trembling. Even though she was no longer afraid of heights, nearly falling to her death was still a terrifying experience.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"You don't need to thank me," he replied, "I would never let you die."

"Well you can't always help that," said Kel.

Neal turned to face her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Kel," he said seriously, looking into her eyes, "I promise you, I will _never _let anything happen to you, not if I can help it. Even if it costs me my life, I will keep you safe."

Kel was glad the darkness hid her blush. "I didn't become a knight to be safe," she grumbled, but secretly she was flattered.

A touch of pale pink began to warm the sky on the eastern horizon. Dawn was coming.

Glancing at Neal, Kel could see that he had noticed as well. His face was full of dread.

"You don't have to come down if you don't want to," she said softly, placing a hand on his arm. He shook his head.

"No," he said with grim determination, "I need to do this."

Kel nodded in understanding. She stood and offered him a hand to help him up, which he accepted. Side by side, they approached the stairs to discover what had become of the inhabitants of Fort Steadfast.

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Review time! It really does make me more motivated to update sooner if I get lots of reviews... (hint, hint) 


	14. Ruin

I've finally found some time to get this chapter up, due to me being on spring break right now, and too stiff and sore from my first track practice yesterday to move or do anything else. Hope you like it!

Many thanks to all the wonderful reviewers and especially my awesome beta Lady Knight 1512.

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine but the increasingly twisted plot.

* * *

Kel had thought that she would be prepared for the ruin of Steadfast, after what she had seen at Haven. But she realized as she emerged from the stair tower that she had been terribly wrong. At Haven, there had been relatively few dead left, due to the kidnapping of the majority of the camp's residents. Here at Steadfast, the dead were strewn in overwhelming numbers around the fort. Kel's breath caught in her throat as cold horror numbed her body. Behind her, she dimly register Neal's shocked gasp before he stumbled into her. She reached back and found his hand.

"…So many…" he breathed. Something in his tone made Kel tear her gaze from the bloody scene before her and turn to look at him. She recognized the self-blame in his eyes and frowned.

"Neal," she began firmly.

He turned his face away from her, ashamed. "I know," he mumbled, "not my fault."

Kel knew that he didn't believe it, but she also knew that she wouldn't be able to persuade stubborn Neal to believe otherwise.

Silence fell for a moment before Kel squeezed Neal's cold hand briefly, then let go. "We'd better look around," she said softly.

He nodded, then looked around. As Kel walked away, she heard him whisper, "Mithros, what have I _done_?"

From the stench, Kel knew that Stormwings had beaten them to Steadfast. Familiar faces stared blankly up in shock, never to see again. Kel recognized some of the men, even through the bloating and mutilation. She mourned that she and Neal would not be able to bury them properly and treat them with the honor they deserved. These were her friends! Some of them were men with whom she had eaten, joked, trained and fought. So many good men were dead, and all for nothing. The utter waste of it sickened Kel, and she fought to compress her emotions into a tiny, hard, ball at her center because she knew that if she didn't, they would overwhelm her. Still, she hadn't found any of her close friends; Raoul, Buri, Dom or his men, Alanna, Owen,Yuki. A small glimmer of hope that they had somehow escaped ignited deep within Kel as she continued her search through Steadfast. She didn't know exactly what she was looking for, but as she wandered, an ominous feeling grew steadily at the back of her mind. Kel was chilled by the complete absence of enemy dead. Even at Haven there had been signs of the refugees' successful resistance in the shells of killing machines littered over the walls and dead Scanrans lying around the fort. Here there was no sign of the enemy. The men around Kel clutched at swords, bows, or spears; all of them useless. Kel shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut and forcing her rising emotions back. It was so unfair! These men had gotten no chance. No matter how bravely and hard they fought, they still died, utterly defenseless against the evil sorcery that had commanded the spirit army.

"This isn't war," Kel whispered, "This is slaughter."

Suddenly Neal's anguished cry split the sill calm of death surrounding Kel. She started, then hurried to the source of the noise. Neal knelt over a blue and red silken form crumpled in a barracks doorway.

"Yuki!" she gasped, flying to his side. Neal wept freely, not even realizing she was beside him. Kel's emotions finally overpowered her will, and sobs racked her body as they flooded through her. Closer, Kel realized that the red was blood staining Yuki's blue silk kimono that she had donned in haste over her sleeping gown. In her hands was her glaive, testimony to her courage and strength against invincible enemies- courage and strength that had proved to be useless. Kel forced herself to turn Yuki's body so her face was showing. Even in death, the Yamani was beautiful. He golden skin was unmarked, her black hair spilling across the bloody ground. Kel closed Yuki's almond eyes reverently, but she was puzzled: Why hadn't the Stormwings touched Yuki? As if in answer to her unspoken question, a flapping sound and a horrible stench permeated the air as a female Stormwing landed a few feet away. Both Kel and Neal stared at her. The immortal was a regal-looking brunette with large blue eyes and a straight nose.

"We hardly know whether the rules apply anymore," she remarked, shaking her head. "There is still killing and death, but it is not a battle. We almost left it, but we have not had a good feast for weeks." She took a tottering step toward Yuki and Kel felt Neal tense beside her. "We did leave this one, however," she continued, jerking her head at their dead friend, "For some reason we sensed that she should be left untouched. Maybe because we sensed your coming." With that, the immortal launched clumsily into the air, blasting a fresh wave of her stink into their faces.

Kel looked at Neal. He stared at Yuki, no longer weeping, but his face was pale and his eyes rimmed with red. This time Kel couldn't tell what he was thinking. She bowed her head over Yuki and silently prayed a Yamani prayer for the safe journey of the dead.

The air stirred behind them. Kel and Neal whipped around and gaped at the sight they beheld.

Before them stood Mithros, the Goddess, and the Black God.

* * *

Ooooh cliffie! Now the next chapter's going to be hard to write, because it's a REALLY important one. So I guess I might be needing extra reviews for motivation... 


	15. The Gods

I've decided not to leave everyone hanging for too long and updated. Aaand I can't really say much else because I have to leave for school in a few minutes. Enjoy!

Thanks again to all the lovely reviewers and my fabulous beta, Lady Knight 1512. I would recommend her to everybody, because she's that great, but I want her all to myself, so there.

Disclaimer: Again, only the twisted plot is mine.

* * *

Kel hastily bowed her head respectfully, then, noticing out of the corner of her eye that Neal was still staring, elbowed him sharply in the side. He quickly copied her.

"My daughter, my son," the Great Mother Goddess said in a voice that was both beautiful and terrible. It carried both strains of the palace bell and the chants that Yamani priests performed for the Gods. Kel resisted the urge to cover her ears against the sound. "Rise; my brothers and I wish to speak to you." They obeyed.

Kel looked upon the Great Gods fearfully, her hand automatically seeking out Neal's. The Goddess stood at Mithros' right side, an impossibly tall and strikingly beautiful woman with fair skin, full red lips, raven-black hair and green eyes that made even Neal's dull in comparison. The Black God seemed to float on the other side of Mithros; tall, dark, hooded, and faceless. Mithros himself stood taller than both of his siblings; an imposing dark-skinned man with short black hair and full beard. He gold clothes shone bright even in the gloom of the night. Kel had encountered the being of the Chamber of Ordeal several times, but it had never inspired the fear and awe that she felt as she gazed upon the three Great Gods before her.

"This," Mithros boomed, gesturing to the ruin of Steadfast around him, "is a breach of the worst kind of the realms of the Living and the Dead. The two are not meant to meet and overlap." The Black God inclined his hooded head in a nod of agreement. "The dead have no place here, in the realm of the living," Mithros continued, "This affair must be stopped."

"That is why we have come here to you, Keladry, my daughter," the Goddess said. "You have proven yourself before in the matter of Blayce the Gallan, where the crossing of dead into this realm was concerned, and so we have chosen you to act for the Gods and enforce the Divine Balance. You must find the source of this evil and destroy it. This is your task."

Kel didn't know how to react. Of course she wanted to stop the evil sorcery that had destroyed Steadfast and killed one of her best friends. On the other hand, she had duties and responsibilities. She couldn't simply abandon them for an extensive period of time!

_You certainly didn't seem concerned about that when you came here, _a part of her mind said.

_But I wasn't planning on taking on this whole task alone, I had only thought I would do some investigating and giving recovery efforts a little push. We needed to know how bad the damage was and who had survived, _she thought.

_Well you're here now, and you can't exactly refuse the Gods, _the other infuriating part of her retorted.

_No, but I _can _ask for help, _she concluded.

"Mother, with all respect, I must beg your assistance," Kel said. "I don't even know where to start."

"Gallans do not forgive easily," said Mithros, the vibrations of his deep voice reaching Kel's bones. "A friend of Blayce is responsible for this crime. The two studied together at the City of the Gods and both exhibited exceptional skill in the area of necromancy. His name is Raydon, and he left the City of the Gods shortly after Blayce. I cannot tell you exactly where you might find him, but I can tell you this: He will not be an easy foe to defeat. Blayce was skilled, clever, and crafty; but he was soft. Raydon is not. This task will be more difficult, and more perilous. You go with our blessings and confidence. You are our God-Sent. You cannot afford to fail." With that, he vanished.

The Goddess studied Kel for a moment, then spoke. "My dear child, you don't have to be alone always in your journey of life. You may be surprised at the companionship available, should you be willing to accept it." She smiled, then stepped closer and spoke silently to Kel's mind. "Do not be afraid to love, and especially to stay in love. Why must you lady knights be so stubborn about love?"

She then turned to Neal, and Kel guessed that she was speaking to him in the same manner. "I will," he said with a nod.

The Goddess then spoke aloud again. "You will not go completely without assistance from the Gods." The Black God held out a gold chain, from which dangled a jet black stone. Kel accepted the necklace and slipped it around her neck and beneath her shirt. The stone felt oddly warm against her skin, and she knew it possessed powerful magic. "Use this stone to call upon us in the hour of most dire need," the Goddess said. "Now go, the time is right."

"Please, Goddess," Neal said quietly, "about Yuki…" his voice threatened to break.

The Goddess smiled kindly. "Yes, I understand," she said, then nodded toward the Yamani's body. It disappeared. Seeing Kel and Neal's astonished expressions, she explained, "I have safely buried her where she belongs, in the land she called home."

"Thank you," Kel managed.

The Goddess merely smiled once more, then both Gods vanished.

* * *

Review por favor!


	16. Emotions

Hello all, sorry for my extended vacation from updating, we just had our last finals today and I get out of school tomorrow! So there might be a increase in updates...but I'm going to have a majorly busy summer, so there might not. Reviewing might help me lean to the might be more side. (hint hint)

Many thanks to all the amazing reviewers. You guys have no idea how much it means to me to hear feedback. Even if it's negative. I want to be a writer someday, and anything helps.  
Also, thanks to my lovely beta, Lady Knight 1512.

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine but the plot.

* * *

Kel looked over at Neal, who still appeared slightly dazed.

"Well then," she said decisively, "It looks like we're going to Galla."

He nodded half-heartedly. Kel felt a sharp ache in her chest, seeing him like this. She missed the sarcastic, cynical, spirited Neal--a Neal she hadn't seen since before the news of Steadfast's fall arrived.

_I wish I could make everything better; make him happy_, she thought sadly.

Without thinking, she wrapped one arm around his shoulders while pulling a handkerchief to dry his tears from her pocket with the other hand.

"Thank you," he said, accepting the handkerchief and wiping his eyes. The two were silent for a long moment before he spoke again. "She really is gone," he said softly. "I didn't want to believe it, but it's really true." He sighed and gave back Kel's handkerchief. "I just feel so confused, like this should all just be a horrible dream." He paused. "And what about Yuki? I don't even know what to feel." He looked into Kel's eyes, as if they held the answers he so desperately needed.

As their eyes held, Kel felt all of his pain and confusion, and wished again that she could simply take it all away and carry it herself, but she couldn't make him forgive himself for crimes he didn't commit.

She shook her head slightly, still holding his pain-filled green eyes with her own hazel ones. "I can't tell you that, Neal. I'm sorry, I just can't."

He pulled away angrily, but Kel knew it wasn't anger at her.

She rested a hand on his arm. "I can tell you this, though, what Yuki would have wanted."

He tensed slightly.

"She would want you to be strong," Kel continued. "Don't forget about her, but don't waste your life feeling bad about what happened. She wouldn't want to be the cause of your misery. She loved you, and when you really love someone, you want them to be happy." She had a strange thought. _Is that why I want to help Neal so badly? _She hastily dismissed it. _No, of course not. We're best friends, and that's what friends do. They're there for each other._

He looked at her. "You really think so?"

She smiled slightly. "Yes, I do."

Neal placed his other hand on top of hers and returned her smile. "Thanks Kel," he said, "For someone five years younger than I am, you sure do teach me a lot."

Kel grinned. "Well, I always knew you needed a keeper. That's why I'm still hanging around; to keep an eye on you."

He grumbled and swatted at her, but she dodged him. He glanced around. "Do you think we should search the surrounding woods for survivors?"

With another look around them, Kel nodded. There had to be more than this left from the attack. "Yes, you're right," she replied. "For once," she added with a joking smile.

He puffed out his chest upon hearing her agreement, then opened his mouth in indignation as he processed the second half of her reply. "Hey!" he complained, "It's not 'for once', I'm almost always right! In fact, I-"

Kel cut him off before he could start a speech. "Just one problem, Neal. How do we get out?"

Neal's arched brows furrowed. "Good point. It would take about four men to open the gates of a fort as heavy as this one, so that's out of the question. Unless you want to spend hours searching for an escape route, we'll have to go down the way we came in."

"Oh, no." Kel backed up, shaking her head. "I almost died getting in. There is no way I'm going down that rope." She wasn't still terrified of heights, but she still was not particularly keen to repeat a near-death experience.

He raised his eyebrows at her. "Well, love, what would _you_ suggest?"

"Anything but that," she insisted.

"Like staying here forever?" he asked. Kel glared at him. "Look Kel," he said, "Do you really think I'd let anything happen to you? I wouldn't break a promise _that _soon." When he saw that she still wasn't completely convinced, he added, "I'll go down first, so if anything happens, I'll catch you at the bottom. Alright?"

Reluctantly, she nodded.

With an elaborate bow, Neal motioned for her to proceed to the stairs. "Well then, lead the way, Lady Knight."

She smiled a little as she climbed the stairs at the hints of the old Neal showing through—the Neal she loved. _Love?_ She thought, _I could _not_ have just said I love Neal. His fiancé, one of my best friends, just died! He's my best friend. It's just a friendly, platonic affection. That's all._ Still, she jumped and her skin tingled when he gently laid a hand on her shoulder so he could get by to the rope.

He nimbly climbed over the wall until only his head was visible. "See you on the ground," he said. Then, with a twinkle of his emerald eyes, he disappeared. Kel realized that she was staring at the spot where his head had been, her stomach fluttering.

_What is _wrong _with me? _She wondered, shaking her head.

Neal was a quick climber. Within a minute she heard him alight on the ground, graceful as a cat.

Ignoring the fear in her stomach and her trembling limbs, Kel sat on the wall and eased herself over, maintaining a death-grip on the rope. Slowly she inched her way down the wall. As she climbed, she carefully kept her gaze glued to the slightly weathered wall inches before her face, studying the grain of the wood to distract herself from her fear.

When she was about fifteen feet from the bottom, a sharp fiber from the rope dug itself into her palm. She hissed and winced, accidentally loosening her hold and causing her to start rapidly sliding down the rope. She yelped as the coarse rope burned her hands and squeezed her eyes shut. Neal caught her, as he had promised. He held her for a few moments until her heart slowed down a little before setting her down.

Kel was grateful for the iffy light of early dawn that concealed her deep flush. She had felt so strange, but so right, cradled in his arms a moment ago, and she felt slightly lost when he released her. _I haven't felt this way since I was a page! _She thought in anguish. _Why do I have to get these feelings _now?

"Give me your hand," Neal demanded.

Kel started. "What? Oh, right," she said distractedly as she allowed him to examine and heal her rope burn on each hand.

Again he held her hands for an extra moment after he finished healing her. Kel found herself wondering if it meant anything, then scolded herself for thinking about it. A whicker from their horses brought them back to reality.

Neal jerked the rope in a manner that caused the grapple to come loose and fall to the ground. He quickly coiled the rope as Kel untied the horses. Then, accepting Magewhisper's reins from Kel, he mounted and the two of them set off into the dark forest to look for their friends—alive or dead.

* * *

Tell me how you liked it! 


	17. Survivors

Yay, I finally wrote another chapter! Don't worry, it's worth the wait. Well, at least _I _think it is. I guess you'll have to tell me if you think so in a _review_ at the end!

A million thanks to everyone who reviewed, I love you guys. And thanks to my brilliant beta Lady Knight 1512.

Disclaimer: All my own is mycontortionistically gifted plot.

* * *

Kel let Neal take the lead as he cautiously approached the noise he had heard. After walking in silence for a few minutes, he suddenly stopped short.

"What is it?" Kel whispered.

"What if it's the spirits I heard?" he asked.

"What?"

"The noise I heard. If it's the spirits, it'll be the end for us! We can't fight them!" His voice rose slightly in fear as he spoke.

Kel realized that Neal was right. She was trying to think of a response when she heard a rustling in the brush not fifteen feet away on her right. Thoughts of invincible spirits spinning behind her eyes, Kel's heart slammed against her chest like a drum. Her stomach felt weak. She reached out and clutched Neal's arm with the hand that wasn't gripping Peachblossom's reins with white knuckles. Neal dropped Magewhisper's reins to clasp her hand tightly in his own. Neither horse moved. They all stood frozen with fear, staring wide-eyed in the direction from which the noise had come.

"Meathead… is that you?" a familiar voice rasped.

"Dom!" Neal breathed. He plunged into the brush toward his cousin, pulling Kel with him, having forgotten that he still held her hand in a death grip. They fell to their knees before a crumpled mass of blue material bathed in dark crimson. Kel gasped at the extent of his blood loss and marveled that he was still alive. He stirred, moaning quietly.

"No, don't move, Dom," Kel said, trying to keep calm. She glanced at Neal, who was checking his cousin's injuries with green glowing hands.

"Kel? How…why…?" Dom asked faintly, struggling to turn his head toward her.

"Shhh," she urged, placing a hand on his blood-soaked shoulder. "It's all right Dom, we're both here, Neal and I." She looked over at Neal again, who had begun to work on Dom's wounds.

"Am I…" Dom broke of coughing. "…going to be all right?"

Kel bit her lower lip and bowed her head. Even a healer as strong as Neal would have trouble trying to heal injuries as extensive as the ones Dom had sustained. But Neal would never give up on him. He would never let someone he loved die. His promise from earlier flashed through her mind.

_"I will _never_ let anything happen to you, not if I can help. Even if it costs me my life, I will keep you safe."_

She managed to choke out, in a husky whisper, "I don't know, Dom. We'll do everything we can."

"I don't deserve to live," he said, struggling for each word. "I'm…a coward…"

Kel felt like crying. She knew it was stupid, but she almost felt like this was somehow her fault. _Stop acting like Neal,_ she told herself. "You are not a coward. Don't even think it!" she told him fiercely.

He shook his head weakly. "I left when others… others stayed to fight…and die. I should've died with them."

"Dom, stop! There was nothing you could have done there. You made the right choice to leave. Those spirits are invincible. You wouldn't be any good to us dead; killed by staying to fight a battle that was impossible to win at Steadfast."

"You would have stayed," he said, his voice fading.

Kel didn't know what to say, because she knew he was right.

A gasp made her turn to Neal. He was paling quickly, all of his energy going into saving his cousin. "Neal, you're going to kill yourself!" she cried. He shook his head wildly, though the movement dizzied him and he nearly fell over.

"I won't lose him too," he said through gritted teeth.

"No, Meathead," Dom mumbled. "Don't…waste…trying to save me…"

"But-"

"Listen… Thank you… for being like a brother to me. Kel… love you…" His breath faded away.

Kel couldn't control the tears that spilled between her closed eyelids or the horrible, painful knot in her throat any more than she could her heart, which she knew was breaking. She _did _love him, even if not romantically. He had been one of her best friends, and helped her through many rough times.

"Kel, I'm losing his pulse!" Neal cried frantically, a torrent of tears streaming down his fair-skinned cheeks. "Don't you _dare _die, Dom! You can't!"

"Take care of Kel…" Dom whispered faintly. Then he went limp.

"I really don't think she needs as much caring for as my former squire would," a dry voice said behind them. The two young knights whipped around to see Alanna standing behind them, holding the reins of Peachblossom, Magewhisper, and three other horses.

"Lioness!" Kel breathed.

"I'll take care of him. There's still some life in him and I'm stronger than you are, Queenscove."

Neal didn't even argue, but moved aside with Kel to let the short redhead examine Dom. She quickly set to work, and after a few minutes, proclaimed him safe to be moved. Together, the three of him got the unconscious captain onto one of Alanna's spare horses.

She explained that she had left Steadfast the day before the attack, but was traveling slowly on her way back south with the royal family as they visited several fiefdoms on the way to Corus. They had been intercepted by an exhausted courier who had escaped as soon as the attack started bearing news of the spirits. The king, queen, and Roald quickly set off for the capital to organize affairs and make plans. Alanna took the troops that had been traveling with them, along with extra horses and supplies, to organize a search for survivors. On the trip back, she had encountered several survivors riding south, including Raoul, Buri, and several members of the Third Company. It was on a search of the woods that she had happened upon Kel, Neal, and Dom. In turn, she demanded an explanation of what Kel and Neal were doing at Steadfast.

Kel remembered the stories about Alanna's connection with the Goddess and figured that if anyone would believe and understand her story, Alanna would. She summarized their encounter with the Great Gods.

"By the Goddess…" Alanna breathed in wonder. "You must go immediately and stop the Gallan. I'll take care of things here. Just hurry."

Alanna clasped hands with Neal and gave him some energy in the form of amethyst fire so he would have the strength to ride after trying to heal Dom.

As he and Kel mounted their horses, Alanna raised a hand in farewell. "Gods all bless," she called.

"But it's their fault we're in this mess," grumbled Neal.

* * *

So...? Did I scare you? Did you think Dom was going to die? I actually was going to kill him, but then I felt sorry for him. He's a lot easier to feel sorry for when he's about to kick the bucket. Plus, I didn't want to get tons of hatemail from Dom-lovers.

Anyway, please let me know how you liked (or didn't like) it!


	18. Crossing Borders

Finally, I got another chapter up. I had a spark of inspiration at 4 in the morning when I couldn't sleep, so now I actually have five chapters waiting to post. But I will not post another chapter until I get ten reviews! I'm raising my standards! Or if I just get bored or enough people beg me to stop being mean and just post another chapter already.   
Thanks to all reviewers, and my super-speedy beta, Lady Knight 1512.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognize.

Theniftylittlelinedividerthingiedoobobisn'tworkingsoIhavetomakemyowndivideraren'tIresourceful?

Kel and Neal agreed that they would feel uncomfortable camping for the night by the ruins of Steadfast. Instead, they rode east for a couple miles and camped a distance from the road; close enough to know if anyone passed, but not close enough to be detected. Neither had slept since before they received the news of Steadfast's fall and their exhaustion swept over them as they spread out their bedrolls. Kel was asleep almost before she had closed her eyes. The last thing she saw before slipping out of consciousness was a pair of bring green eyes belonging to her best friend, slowly slipping closed a few feet away. Unconsciously, her lips slipped into a smile and she slept deeply.

The first piercing rays of the sun woke Kel, and she threw up a hand to shield her squinting eyes. She sat up, looking over at Neal, who still slept soundly, his mouth hanging open. Kel stifled a laugh as she rose stiffly and made her way over to where Peachblossom and Magewhisper were picketed. Splashing her face and rinsing her dry mouth with a little water from her canteen, Kel took note of their surroundings, now visible in the daylight. They had stopped in a small clearing, hardly big enough for the two of them and their horses.

_That's good, _she thought, _less detectable._ She could just make out the road through the trees on the far side of their bedrolls. Kel decided to let Neal continue to sleep as she made breakfast for them both. She judged that it was safe to make a fire, and soon bacon was sizzling.

Presently, the smell woke Neal, and he stumbled over, disheveled and blinking sleep out of his eyes. Kel wordlessly passed him some bacon and bread, which he accepted with a grunt of thanks. They had known each other long enough that she knew it wasn't worth trying to talk to him first thing in the morning.

After they had eaten, they discussed their plans. "If we don't know where to find this Raydon rat, the best thing would probably be to head toward the outskirts of the capital, Cria and listen for gossip. The more people, the more knowledge we can scrape up," Neal said.

Kel frowned. "Or at least, the more rumors."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "You're starting to sound like me," he said, then shrugged. "Well just have to hope one of them is true. It's all we've got. We just need to stay undetected while we're there."

"What would be the best way to get there?" Kel wondered. "The quickest route would be to cut straight east through Scanra. However, that has the potential to be much more dangerous. We could follow the border southeast for a safer journey, but that could take twice as long."

She met Neal's gaze and saw a great urgency there. "Kel, we don't have that kind of time," he said. "We need to finish this."

She nodded. As much as she hated to take even more risks, she knew that he was right.

As they packed up and prepared to leave, they discussed plains and tactics. Just before the mounted their horses, Neal smiled wryly at Kel. "Going on a hare-brained quest, after some enemy we don't even know where to find… why does this seem familiar?"

Kel swung smoothly into her saddle. "Because you'd find any excuse to complain about something."

He only grumbled and mounted Magewhisper in reply.

By nightfall, Kel and Neal were sore, tired, bored, and irritable. The day's ride had been uneventful and they had succeeded in avoiding any other people. After taking a short break to eat a snack and study maps, they realized that they had almost reached the Scanran border.

"Well?" Neal asked. "Should we spend another peaceful night in the relative safety of our own lands or risk our lives and take advantage of the cover of darkness to cross into perilous enemy territory?"

She smirked at him. "Since it's so obvious that you have no personal preference, I guess we could spend the night here but pack up and cross right before dawn. Nobody would expect it."

He thought over her suggestion quickly, then nodded. "Very good, I approve."

They set up camp and then pored over maps, going over their plans for a route for less than an hour before they were too tired to continue. They calculated that, at their current pace, they would get through Scanra in about two days. They would see where rumors sent them once they got to Galla.

Kel woke well before dawn and roused Neal. They prepared their breakfast without fire because they were so close to enemy territory. Camp was broken down quickly, the two performing the tasks from pure muscle memory as they were so tired.

They rode carefully through the woods, moving quickly and carefully. In the middle of the second day, they had to cross a road. As they cautiously approached, they heard horses coming closer. Kel silently slipped off Peachblossom and handed the reins to Neal before creeping closer to see the riders.

Two Scanrans, fully armed, rode northwest; like stragglers from an army traveling to join the last main fighting force near the border. Kel was thinking about whether or not she should let them pass when she stepped back on a twig. She gritted her teeth and mentally cursed her clumsiness. One of the Scanrans looked her way and stopped. He murmured something to his companion, who stopped as well. They both stared at the area where Kel was standing. She was partially hidden by trees, but not enough to make her able to risk movement. Frozen in place, she watched as the man who had heard her slowly approached her hiding place. He would see her any moment, and once he did, she'd have no choice but to fight. Still, she didn't like the odds of her alone and on foot against two men on horseback.

A startled expression appeared on the man's face and he yelled in surprise to his companion and she knew he had spotted her. She swiftly drew her sword for battle and charged forward out of the trees. The man was well-armed, but not well-trained. Kel quickly managed to open a large cut behind his knee, cutting through the tendons and making him struggle to stay on his horse.

Flailing wildly, he sliced deep into a big muscle in Kel's right arm as she darted forward to slash deeply under his sword arm, biting deep into his flesh. He fell quickly, bleeding profusely. Sweating slightly from the pain, Kel looked from the dead man at her feet to see the other Scranran fallen with an arrow in his eye. Neal had heard the commotion and rushed forward to help.

Wordlessly he gave her Peachblossom's reins and reached for her injured arm. As a page, she would have refused a healing, but now she knew that a bad arm was too much of a danger in battle. When he had finished as best he could, they hauled the bodies into the woods. The horses had already fled. They mounted their own horses and continued on.

Late that evening, they crossed into Galla. Kel considered camping again, but the thought of a soft bed and hot bath and food was too tempting. The first town they reached was a humble cluster of houses, shops and an inn, called Geninnsdale.

As they rode up to the inn and left their horses with a stable boy, Neal whispered to Kel, "Now just leave all the talking to me; you're not much of an actor."

She glared at him, but he ignored her and strode confidently into the inn.

endofchapterendofchapterendofchapterendofchapterendofchapterendofchapterendofchapterendofchapter

Ok, now it's review time! I know how when you get to the end of a chapter sometimes and you're like, "why would I review, I don't really have anything to say about the chapter." But seriously, review even just to say that you read the story. Be like, "I read your story. It had...words in it." And that's enough for me.


	19. Jealousy

You guys were so wonderful in reviewing, that I'm able to post the next chapter the very next day! And since it works so well, I'm going to make it the same deal: no new chapter until 10 reviews. And you're really going to want to review, because after this it gets really good. I promise. My beta was laughing evilly at you guys because she knows what's going to happen and you don't. Don't give her that satisfaction! Review and get more chapters more quickly! Plus, I'm making a new habit of replying to all reviewers (just make sure to sign in so I can use the little reply button thingie) in case you really need more incentive to review.

Sorry for telling them, my awesome beta, Lady Knight 1512, about your evil laughing. But thanks for being awesome. And thanks to everyone who reviewed!

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine but the plot.

MydividerlinesthatIlovesoverymucharestillnotworkingsoishallcontinuetousemynifterdividerlinesthatyouallseemedtoenjoysomucharen'tInice?

Neal approached the main desk where a very pretty young woman stood talking amiably with an older woman. The girl had fiery red hair that fell freely over her shoulders. Her intelligent gray eyes shone in a fair face with high cheekbones and full lips. Kel found herself looking at her with envy, then chided herself for being silly. Neal waited as the two said their goodbyes and the older one departed before he faced the girl and addressed her with an extravagant bow.

"Good evening, my fair lady," he said in deliberately accented Common. "Might you have a couple of spare rooms for a pair of tired Marenites?"

The girl, obviously charmed by Neal's good looks and dashing manner, smiled prettily and batted long lashes at him. Kel hated her instantly, without knowing why. "We're pretty crowded," the girl replied, "But for such a handsome fellow, I'm sure I'd be able to find something, Mister…?"

"Markson. Both of us; we're family," Neal said, grinning.

As the girl fished two keys from a drawer in the desk, Neal leaned close to her over the counter and lowered his voice intimately. "If you don't mind my askin', miss, what would the name of such a lovely lady be? They certainly don't make 'em as pretty as you in Maren."

The girl blushed daintily and looked at him coquettishly though her lashes. "Her name would be Jennivere," she murmured, "but she always lets handsome Marenites call her Jen."

Kel, sickened by the whole display, turned to survey the room. A cheery fire burned at one end, surrounded by comfortable-looking armchairs. Between these and Kel stood many round tables surrounded by chairs. A staircase leading to the bedrooms stood directly across from the front door. All sorts of people eating, talking, laughing, and in many cases, drinking, occupied many of the tables and all of the armchairs.

Kel's stomach growled and she turned back to the desk in time to hear Neal requesting hot meals and baths to be brought to their rooms because they were too tired to return to the commons area.

Jennivere led them upstairs to two rooms next to each other. After unlocking both, she handed the keys to them and departed with a sidelong glance at Neal and an assurance that she'd be at the desk if they needed anything at all. Kel didn't want to think of the implications she had put in that statement for Neal.

As soon as she disappeared, Kel smacked Neal in the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" he said, rubbing his arm.

"For being an ass," Kel retorted. "You were flirting with her!"

"Oh, excuse me! Is there a law against flirting in Galla?"

She just glared at him.

He sighed. "Look, Kel. It's not like I'm going to call her to my bed tonight or anything. It just always pays to get on the good side of people."

"Well you're certainly done that, and now she'll remember us! Or at least she'll remember _you_. We're trying to be invisible here. We can't afford to attract any extra attention."

"Well then maybe you shouldn't scold me loudly about secrecy in a public hallway. Consider me corrected. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a bath arriving shortly which I'd like to prepare for." He didn't wait for a response, but turned into his room and slammed the door.

Kel was stung. She stood there staring at his closed door for several long moments before retreating to her own room and softly closing the door. She sat on the bed, feeling a lump rise in her throat. Why had his slammed door felt like a slap in the face? She felt bad for speaking so harshly to him, and she didn't even know why she had done it.

The aggravating voice in her head whispered, "You were jealous." She scrunched her eyes closed and flopped onto her back, willing it to go away, but a deep part of her knew that it was true.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. She gratefully sprang to the door. Two maids carrying a tray of food and basins of hot water greeted her politely, entered, left the food on the table, filled the bath basin near the fireplace, and left. Glad for a distraction, Kel ate quickly, then undressed and sank into her bath.

The hot water was so soothing after her long ride and argument with Neal that she closed her eyes and promptly fell asleep, so deeply that she didn't hear another knock on the door later and Neal's voice saying, "Kel? Listen, I'm sorry for earlier, can we talk?" A pause. "Kel? Are you there?" Then his footsteps could be heard retreating slowly before his door closed.

When Kel awoke, the fire was only embers and she was wrinkled from her now cold bath. Shivering, she slipped on her nightshirt and huddled beneath the warm covers of her bed until sleep reclaimed her.

Her next awakening was not so pleasant. She was jolted awake by a sharp blade at her neck and a voice hissing, "All right, imposter, your game's up. Move and I slit your throat."

endofchapterIknowit'sareallyevilcliffhangersoyouknowwhatyoushouldreviewandI'llpostmore!reviewreviewreviewreviewreviewreview!

Umm the divider pretty much says it all.


	20. Escape

Now that I got ten reviews, I can finally update! I've actually really been wanting to update because the next few chapters are really exciting (well, at least I think so...) and I can't wait to hear what you guys think, and I know everyone's dying to know what's going to happen to everyone's favorite Tortallan knights, but I promised myself that I wasn't going to compromise on this one. So ten little reviews, or no more chapters! Many thanks to the ten reviewers, and I'm sure everyone who wanted an update who DIDN'T review is grateful too!

As always, thanks to Lady Knight 1512 for being an all-around great beta.

Disclaimer: Okay, these just get monotonous after about twenty chapters... You all know that I don't own anything except the plot.

:'-( That'sapictureofhowsadIamthatmydividerbarsthatIalwaysuseneverworkanymoreandIamreducedtomakingmyownwithtypedsmileyfaces!

Kel gulped. "What do you want?" she rasped, ever aware of the cold steel under her chin.

The voice didn't hesitate. "Answers."

"I'll cooperate," said Kel, wondering how she was going to get out of this.

"Sit up." The pressure on the knife lessened, allowing Kel to obey. A candle flickered into life, illuminating the lovely face of Jennivere.

Kel was shocked, and it must have showed on her face, because the girl said, "Surprised? I'm smarter than I look."

_Smarter than you act, too,_ Kel thought. But what she really said was, "What's going on?"

Jennivere cocked an eyebrow at her. "I know where you're from and who you are. What I want to know is, what you're doing here … and what to do with you."

Kel decided to continue acting confused. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Jennivere rolled her eyes. "I know you're not Marenites. My ma's family's from there. First of all, Markson's not a Marenite name, and second, your friend's fake accent didn't fool me one bit. You were dressed and equipped as a male warrior, but you're a woman. Tortall's the only country this side of the Emerald Ocean where women can bear arms and fight. You must be a knight, because otherwise you wouldn't be off on a solo- or duo- mission. You're obviously not the Lioness because you're tall and your hair's not red. So you must be Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan."

Kel opened her mouth to protest, but Jennivere cut her off. "Don't both arguing, I know you are; I saw your shield in the stables when I searched your bags. Now, I heard your little spat with your friend in the hallway earlier. Time was, before the war, Tortallans came through this town fairly often. But now, on the Scranran border, we haven't seen any since the fighting began. So now I'm wondering, why is such an unusual pair now coming through, pretending to be someone else, and wishing to remain invisible? That's awful suspicious behavior, Lady Knight."

Kel was impressed in spite of herself. She really saw no better option than to risk telling the truth. She knew that Galla was not officially allied with Scanra, so there was a chance that the truth might work. "Are you loyal to Scanra?" she asked.

The other girl made a face. "No; bloody, backstabbing savages. They've looted Gallan towns on the border for ages."

"Well, we're here to protect our home from a threat that's branched from Scanra," Kel said. She felt Jennivere pull the knife away slightly.

"Go on."

"You may know of a mage named Blayce. A short time ago, he killed hundreds of children and used their spirits to kill thousands of people, not just soldiers, but innocent citizens. He was defeated, but a friend of his, Raydon of Galla, is now here and he wants revenge. He's found a way to control the spirits of the dead without a shell containing them to kill without limit. They are invincible, and every second we waste, they could be destroying more lives. We've already lost some of our best friends." Kel jerked her head in the direction of Neal's room. "He's lost his betrothed." She looked straight into Jennivere's eyes. "Our only hope is to find Raydon and defeat him. Please, let us go."

Jennivere's already fair-skinned face was now white as chalk. She made the Gods' sign across her chest and dropped the knife. "So it's true… the evil's really come to Galla. We'd heard rumors of a terrible mage in the Northern wilderness of Galla." She blinked several times, as if to clear her head. "Yes I'll help you."

"Help?"

"You're in grave danger. A large group of Scanran soldiers is here, staying in the inn. They're possibly even coming back from business with the mage. If they see you or catch word of your being here, they'd kill you. I'm not the only one who noticed the woman warrior with the strange accent. If they don't know already, they'll know by breakfast. You must leave immediately, there's still about an hour before dawn.'

Kel nodded. "Thank you. I need to tell Neal. Could you see that our horses are ready?"

Jennivere nodded and hurried out of the room. Kel quickly dressed, then went next door to Neal's room and knocked on the door until he answered in a nightshirt and breeches. He squinted at her, not fully awake.

"Kel?... What's…?"

"Get dressed and packed. Jennivere figured out who we are. She says we're in danger and we need to leave immediately."

His eyes widened as she spoke and he nodded and closed the door. A minute later he emerged and they rushed to the stable together. However, they stopped short at the bottom of stairs. The Scanrans, ten hardened warriors, stood in the commons area, finishing a pre-dawn breakfast and paying for their rooms. Kel and Neal took one look at each other before bolting across the room and out the door. The heard yelling in Scanran and heavy footsteps follow.

Jennivere was standing outside with their horses, fully saddled and packed. They accepted the reins with gasps of thanks as they mounted. Neal swiftly leaned down from his saddle and kissed Jennivere on the cheek along with a whispered, "Thank you for saving us." Then they fled.

DThat'sapictureofhowhappyIwillbewhenyouleavemeanicelittleeasypainlessreviewwithasimpleclickofthemouseandafewtapsonthekeyboard!

For those of you who did take the time to read my story (And I know there are a bunch of you, I can see how many people read it on the stats page) and don't review, maybe cuz it would take too long, or you don't like writing reviews, or you don't know what to say, I'll make it easy for you! I'll give you a list of easy prewritten reviews that you can use!  
"I read it."  
"Good."  
"Penguin."  
"I hate it."  
"I didn't like it."  
"I am indifferent."  
"I kind of like it."  
"I enjoyed it."  
"I LOVE IT!" --that one is preferred  
"Update soon."  
"(insert adjective here) story."  
"This story made me ."  
"Thank you for the list of prewritten reviews, it helped me immensely."  
And an old favorite: "I read your story. It had...words in it."

And if it seems like I'm begging shamelessly, I am. But it's only because I want to put up the next couple chapters so badly! So it's for your own good to review if you want to read more, really.


	21. Battle

Ten reviews in under a day! You guys are amazing, I knew you could do it! Either you really wanted this chapter, or my list of prewritten reviews was just that helpful. So many thanks to all of you, and thanks to my favorite beta, Lady Knight 1512. And same deal for next time: 10 reviews for the next chapter. Trust me, you'll want it.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.

Kel and Neal raced out of the town, planning on riding east to find a bigger city where they could get lost in the crowds and hopefully shake off their pursuers. Even at their best, their chances of beating ten enemies at once looked grim. They rode fast, but their horses were tired and eventually Kel could see the Scanrans approaching in the distance behind them.

As the enemies drew closer, Kel began to realize that there was no escape. They could turn and fight honorably or die like animals in the hunt. She wheeled Peachblossom around and halted. Neal seemed to understand and did the same. They both pulled out their bows and began to shoot down the Scanrans from a distance. They managed to fell two and injure one beyond fighting ability before they were upon them. In that last moment before the collision, Kel and Neal locked eyes and time seemed to freeze.

Neal bowed his head. "It was an honor and my greatest pleasure to be your friend, Keladry of Mindelan," he said. Then Magewhisper reared and he plunged into battle. Kel engaged one man and killed him easily without any injuries. Peachblossom reared and broke another's neck with his flailing hooves.

_Maybe we'll get out of this alive after all,_ she thought. She reeled Peachblossom around to face a third who had come up behind her. He was craftier, feinting before attacking in a different direction. In this way he managed to stab her deep in the left shoulder.

"Mithros curse it!" she growled through gritted teeth. While she was distracted, another Scanran, whose horse had been brought down, snuck up behind and sliced her thigh open clean to the bone. She swung at him blindly, swiping his head off with one blow. She reeled, dizzy from the pain and blood loss. Her vision was already clouding when she realized the ground was flying closer. She hit with a sickening crack and a nauseating pain in her arm. She saw Peachblossom kill the man who had stabbed her, still protecting even after she'd fallen. Neal was fighting with the last three Scanrans, sword and hooves flying. Dimly, she heard the sounds of battle fading away as she fought to maintain consciousness.

_I'm really going to die this time, _she thought, but the pain was too great for her to care. As long as it stopped, she didn't care whether she lived or died. The noise grew fainter and finally stopped before one noise rang out clearly.

"Kel!" she heard Neal cry. A second later he was beside her, his arms tight around her and cradling her against his chest. His heart beat wildly against her cheek through his sweat-soaked shirt. "Gods Kel, don't die… don't you dare give up, Kel, I need you…" He choked back a sob. Kel felt his arms around her grow cold as her dim and cloudy vision filled with a painfully bright green blaze. Neal gasped and the light flickered, and then grew even brighter.

_He's using too much power! _Kel thought frantically. _He's going to kill himself!_

She tried to speak, but all she managed was a weak, "Neal, stop…" before the effort drained her and she blacked out.

The first thing Kel realized was that she was cold and wet. The second was that she was extremely uncomfortable. She shifted, trying to move into a better position, but something heavy was on top of her. She opened her eyes, blinking until they adjusted to the twilight. From where her head rested on the ground, all she could see was mud.

_Mud?_ She thought, confused. _But there hasn't been any rain or snow…_ Then she realized that the ground was saturated with blood. Twisting her head, she could see dead bodies strewn like broken and discarded toys after a child's tantrum around her. Peachblossom and Magewhisper grazed close by. Kel managed to lift her head enough to see what prevented her form moving. An unconscious Neal lay half on top of her with his head resting across her shoulder and neck. Kel carefully freed her arms and gently moved him enough so that she could sit up. As she did so, she realized that she was no longer in pain. Neal had completely healed her.

_I was really severely injured, _she thought in awe. _That must have taken more power than most healers have in them. _Then alarm flooded through her. _Neal _is _just sleeping, right? He's not… He can't be… _Hurriedly she checked his neck for a pulse: Nothing. She suddenly felt very sick. She positioned her cheek above his open mouth to try to feel his breath. Still nothing.

"No," she said quietly. It sounded distant and strangled to her ears. "No, no, no, no…" she repeated the same word over and over, growing louder and more frantic every moment as she frenziedly grabbed his freezing hands, smoothed back his hair, stroked his pale, lifeless face that she knew as well as her own.

A cold panic gripped her heart, squeezing so hard she feared it would stop beating. "Neal, come back!" she begged, her voice thick with sobs. "Don't go, you can't leave me here alone!" Nevertheless, even as she said it, Kel knew that no amount of begging would bring Neal back to her. He was dead.


	22. Bargain

Ok, I'm really sorry for killing Neal. It was extremely hard, and especially hard when everyone was mad at me for it. But thank you all for reviewing even though you were heartbroken, or mad, or just plain shocked. So the same deal stands: no more chapters until I get over 10 reviews. Trust me, you'll have something to review about.

Thanks to my beta, Lady Knight 1512, who gave me a really sweet compliment when she proofread this chapter for me.

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine.

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Kel slowly, gently laid her best friend's body upon the bloody ground, her hot tears falling upon his cold face. His old promise rang through her head once again: _"I will _never_ let anything happen to you, not if I can help. Even if it costs me my life, I will keep you safe."_

"You really meant it," she whispered. A sob racked her body. She pushed back a lock of hair away from his face, something she had always longed to do while he was alive. "I didn't _want_ you to mean it, Neal! I never wanted you to get hurt, and now you're gone, and it's my fault. What am I supposed to do without you?" All at once, everything that he meant to her flooded over her and she knew that she couldn't live without Neal by her side. No matter what it took, she had to get him back.

_Even if _I _can't bring him back, _someone _can, _she thought coldly. She reached to her neck and grasped the jet black stone that the Gods had given to her.

"Black God," she called, her voice hoarse but strong. "I need you. Come to my aid."

As she finished her last words, the Black God appeared before her, dark, hooded, faceless, and terrifying. "What do you need, young mortal one?" it asked, not aloud, but somewhere inside her head. Its voice seemed to contain infinite multitudes of individual voices, sounding like both everyone and no one. "It is not your time."

"Nor is it his," Kel said, gathering up Neal's limp body in her arms. "I need him back." At any other time, the absurdity of what she was doing would have blown Kel away, but now she didn't feel anything, just numb.

"But he is dead. The dead may not return to the realm of the living."

"But he isn't _supposed _to be dead!" Kel cried angrily. "He only died to save _me_. _I _should be the one to go!"

"Are you suggesting a trade?" the God inquired.

Kel didn't answer. _Was_ she suggesting a trade? Her life for Neal's? _This is my fault,_ she told herself. _Neal's not supposed to be dead. If my life is what I have to pay to bring him back, then-_

"Impossible," the God interrupted her thought. "We cannot take your life."

Kel blinked at him. "What?"

"You are God-sent, a chosen mortal to act for the Gods. We cannot accept your life while you are in our service."

"You mean… you mean that you wouldn't have taken my soul, I wouldn't have died, if Neal hadn't healed me?" asked Kel, feeling faint.

"We would be forced to let you keep it until you had completed your service to us. So technically, no, you would not have died."

Kel felt, if possible, even sicker than before. "So he gave his life up for me, all for _nothing_?"

The God made a sound suspiciously similar to a sigh. "If you must see it that way, young mortal."

She stared at him. "What do you mean, 'if I must see it that way'?"

"I mean, though it may appear that way to you, that he did not give his life up for nothing. He gave his life up for l-"

"Brother," the familiar voice of the Goddess sounded all around, "What is this?"

"Sister," the Black God replied, "the chosen protector's companion has passed into my realm, and she wants him to return."

The answer rang clearly and definitely in Kel's ears. "No."

Kel stood up angrily, Neal's lifeless body still clutched in her arms. "And why not?" she shouted in frustration.

"Because it simply isn't done. The gods cannot return a soul to its body without another soul in exchange. It would tilt the balance."

"But I would trade my life for his!" Kel cried, "I would do anything to bring him back, but you won't let me!"

The Gods didn't answer; they seemed to be thinking.

"Please," Kel said simply. "I will do _anything_. I can't live without him." It surprised her to hear the words come from her mouth, but she realized that they were true.

"We will make a deal, because you are God-sent," the Black God said finally. "We will give you back your companion- but hear this: should you succeed in your task, he shall be allowed to remain and live out the remainder of his mortal life. But should you fail, his soul will return to my realms forever."

Kel stared at the God, almost disbelieving. "Thank you!" she breathed, too stunned to think of anything else to say. "I will succeed; I _have_ to."

"You're welcome, young mortal," the Black God replied, sounding pleased. "Do not disappoint us." Then he was gone.

Neal stirred in Kel's arms. She quickly but carefully laid him down as he awoke. Finally his eyelids rose and Kel's heart raced as his emerald eyes turned to focus upon her. Slowly, he pushed himself up into a sitting position, with Kel's help. Once he was level with her, he grinned mischievously and said, "So I take it you missed me?"

Kel, overcome with emotion, simply fell into his waiting arms, tears prickling the back of her eyes. He held her tightly, making Kel marvel at how safe he made her feel. Eventually she pulled back to look him in the face. She had planned on giving him a thorough scolding for what he had just put her through, but just as she opened her mouth, he cut her off by placing his lips over it and every notion of a reprimand flew out of her head.

Warmth from his mouth flooded throughout her body, making her frozen fingertips and toes tingle as she eagerly kissed him back. Neal lost his balance and fell backwards, pulling her on top of him, never breaking their lips' electrifying contact. Kel lost track of time before they finally pulled apart, flushed and panting for breath. Realizing how exhausted she was, Kel rested her head on his chest, his arms still around her.

He lifted his head to whisper in her ear, "I love you."

This time, Kel was perfectly content to let him.


	23. Contemplation

Ok, I'm really sorry for making you all wait a few extra days, especially since over ten reviews came so quickly. I actually had to write this one since my last update, so it was a bit slower coming. But many thanks to everyone who reviewed, and thanks to my fabulous beta, Lady Knight 1512, who never fails to notice the little things that make all the difference.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.

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It might have been minutes or hours that they lay together, content in each other's arms, for all the difference it made to them. They forgot that they were lying in mud, that dead Scanrans lay about them, that they and their country were in grave peril; all they knew during those precious moments was that they were a man and a woman who loved each other and were happier with just that knowledge than they had ever been before. There was no room for fear of the future, regrets of the past, or guilt about lost loves; only joy.

Eventually the sky darkened and the two realized the need to eat and find somewhere safer and warmer to sleep. Kel pushed herself up off Neal and climbed to her feet. Accepting the hand she offered to him, Neal pulled himself up to join her.

"Do you think we should still head toward Cría?" he asked, looking for their horses. "We could ride a ways east, then make camp for the night-I don't particularly fancy spending a night with these lads." He looked dispassionately at the Scanran corpses on the ground. When she didn't answer, he looked up at her.

Kel had approached one of the bodies and was gazing down at its face, motionless. He walked up behind her and gently rested his hands on her shoulder, offering her what warmth and comfort he could. "Look at him," she said, voice hollow. "He was as young as we are."

He obeyed, and the staring eyes of a handsome young man returned his gaze, never to see again. His hands were pressed against a wound in his stomach where Kel had run him through.

"It's always the worst when you look in their faces," she continued. "When I'm fighting, when it's my life against theirs, I don't have room to feel for them. But once it's over, and I see them, I think about the family they could have at home, just waiting for their loved one to return. If they have wives, or children, whose lives are ruined because the one person they loved and who fed them is dead… and I killed them." She wiped a hand across her face and looked up over her shoulder at Neal. "The Scanrans have killed so many of our friends, done so many horrible things, I have plenty of reason to hate them and enjoy killing them. So why do I feel like the monster?"

He cupped her face in his hands. "Because, despite everything you've seen and been through, you still have a heart." He kissed her softly and drew her into his arms.

She hugged him back. "Thank you," she whispered.

He released her, smiling slightly. "You're welcome," he said. "Now let's find those horses and get to somewhere we can change clothes. This mud feels disgusting!"

They found the two horses together, not too far away. As they rode away, Kel looked over her shoulder at the abandoned battleground. "I hate to just leave them there," she said.

"There's nothing for it, love," Neal replied sympathetically. "All we can do is pray for the Black God to ease their passing."

She nodded and whispered a Yamani prayer for the dead. It was starting to sound too familiar in her ears. _That's exactly why we need to stop Raydon as soon as we can,_ she reminded herself.

Once they had ridden a good distance from the scene, they found a secluded clearing in the woods. Since they weren't near civilization of any kind, Neal left to find firewood while Kel changed out of her blood and mud-caked clothes. When he returned, she started a fire and he left to change his. Kel accidentally glanced over before he was finished, and caught a glimpse of his lean, muscled back as he pulled a clean shirt down over his head, smooth skin glowing golden in the firelight.

She flushed deeply and quickly turned back to the fire. He joined her after a moment, sitting close beside her and wrapping an arm around her, pulling her close. She rested her weary head on his shoulder.

They simply sat for a while, letting everything that had happened that day soak in. Finally, Kel broke the silence with a question that had been lingering at the back of her mind.

"Neal…"

"Hm?"

"Today, when you…" she trailed off, not knowing how to phrase the question, and reluctant to flat-out mention death. "After you healed me…"

He waited patiently for her to finish, an unusual feat for him.

"What happened?"

He sighed. "I just remember knowing that I had to save you, now matter what it took. Then the next thing I realized, I was in this gray place, and I knew I must have… died." He shuddered. "It's hard to describe what it was like. I knew… I had the feeling that I was supposed to feel peaceful, but couldn't. I kept feeling like there was still more that I had to do in life before I could go… and I kept missing you." He gave her a quick squeeze. "Then the Black God came. I have never been so terrified. I was thinking, _This is it_. _I'm done forever; I'll never see Kel or anyone else again. _But he told me that you had convinced the Gods to let me return, and then I was waking up." He grinned. "And then you know what happened next."

She smiled back at him, a warm feeling spreading from her stomach as she remembered. She wondered what she would have done if she had lost him. The thought made her shiver and the smile slipped from her face.

"You don't know how horrible it was, when I thought you were gone forever," she said quietly, staring into the flames. "Worse than anything I've ever felt in my whole life. Like my heart was being ripped out of my chest." Her voice caught in a sob as she remembered.

He pulled her into a tight hug. "Oh, Kel," he said into her hair. "I'm so sorry I put you through that. I should've been more careful to keep both of us alive, I know, but when I saw you fall, I just went crazy."

"You've always been crazy," she murmured. He pretended not to hear her.

"All I could think of was that you were going to slip away, and I'd never get a real chance to tell you how much I love you. That was my biggest regret when I woke up in the gray place, without you. When I came back, I knew that I couldn't let another moment get away, now that I know that either one of us could disappear at any moment. I wouldn't mind dying quite so much now, now that you know that I love you with all my heart, and always will, no matter what may happen to either of us."

Kel snuggled happily against him. "And you know I love you too," she replied, not bothering with flowery language like Neal's. "Enough to argue with the Great Gods to get you back."

He chuckled, but still couldn't help feeling in awe of her. "Now there's a sight I wish I could've seen."

Kel was suddenly reminded of the other part of the Black God's bargain: the conditions for Neal staying in the mortal realms. Her stomach flopped as she thought of the possibility of losing Neal again. She knew she should tell him, but she didn't know when. Should she do it now, before too much time passed, or later, when the subject wasn't so sensitive? She decided to get it over with, and braced herself to tell him. She turned her face up toward his, but before she could say anything, he kissed her slowly, causing her body to melt into his.

She decided it could wait for another time.


	24. Into Cría

I am _so_ sorry that this update was so long in coming. I started school at the beginning of september, and I have been going nonstop between homework, violin, and play rehearsals. But I finally finished another chapter, and here it is!

Thanks to the tons of reviewers who might be upset with me after this chapter. And extra thanks to my splendid beta LadyKnight 1512, who always goes above and beyond.

Disclaimer: Only the plot is mine.

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Kel slept through the night curled safely in Neal's arms; a rare and peacefully deep sleep. She awoke to the frost of morning and snuggled closer to him, relishing his warmth. He stirred and muttered in his sleep.

"Forty-seven bandits, and I killed them all by myself… and yes, Owen, it _was_ jolly…"

She stifled a giggle. Reluctantly, she propped herself up on an elbow and gently brushed his face with her other hand to wake him. His green eyes slowly opened, and a smile spread across his face as he recognized Kel. He caught her hand up in one of his and, bringing it to his lips, kissed it. She beamed back at him and leaned forward to replace her fingers with her lips. When she pulled away moments later, he tried to kiss her again, but she shook her head, smiling mischievously.

"No, no more time for that, we have work to do."

He grumbled like a toddler deprived of its favorite toy as she got up and stoked the fire which had died down to faintly glowing coals. By the time she had bright flames crackling, Neal had found a small stream nearby, and stumbled back, his face and hair dripping. He volunteered to cook breakfast and was drying off with a cloth from his packs. Kel found the stream quickly, and though the icy water was too cold and shallow to bathe in, she was grateful for the chance to wash her face and hair and clean her teeth. She returned to the warm fire and Neal to dry off and comb her wet hair.

"So we go to Cría?" he asked during breakfast.

She nodded. "It seems like the best plan. Jennivere said there were rumors about evil in the north, but that's not enough to go by."

He shrugged in reply. "You've gone by less before."

"But that was _different_," Kel insisted. "I was following someone. I had a trail and everything."

"Alright, whatever you say, Protector of the Small."

She smacked him lightly in mock annoyance. She'd never admit it, but the name was kind of growing on her.

Kel was plagued throughout the day's ride with worry about her bargain with the gods. When could she tell Neal? How would he react? Was there any good way to tell someone you loved that their life was the object of a bargain with the Black God?

_No_, thought Kel bitterly. _And the problem with Neal is that I have no idea how he'll take the news; he never seems to react to a situation as most people would_. She supposed that if they succeeded in defeating Raydon, it wouldn't be a problem anyway, but if she didn't tell him and they failed their mission…

She shuddered at the thought of Neal's face as the Black God came for him when he thought he had escaped death…at the thought of having to go through losing him again.

She knew that he had been watching her with concern throughout the day, but neither of them had said anything. She guessed that he thought she was silent about the battle the previous day. _I am, but not for the reason he thinks_, she reflected. She felt like she was lying to him by not telling him, and she hated herself a little for it, but she still couldn't bring herself to say anything.

They saw Cría's city gates just before the sun set, and shrank into the woods to make plans before seeking entrance.

"I would suggest that we enter separately, in case anyone's on the lookout for two foreigners traveling together. I don't think any rumors would have gotten here before us, but it couldn't hurt us to be safe," Neal said. Kel nodded in agreement. "I'll go first to make sure it's safe," he volunteered.

She appreciated his care for her, but for some reason she didn't feel like being protected by him at the moment. Perhaps it had something to do with how anxious and worried about him she had been the whole day.

"Neal, where's your sense of chivalry?" she mock scolded. "Ladies first. I'll be fine."

He opened his mouth to protest, but saw her resolute face and shut it without a word. She kissed him lightly and said, "Don't worry. I love you." It was impossible to miss the anxiety in his face at the prospect of her going alone into uncharted territory and possible danger. Though she knew it wouldn't do any good, Kel smiled reassuringly at him over her shoulder as she rode away. He would worry about her until she was in his arms again.

As she rode up to the gate, a gruff voice called from the wall in accented common, "Who goes there, friend or foe?"

Kel lowered her voice and tried to disguise her Tortallan accent as best she could as she replied, "Friend."

"What is your business?"

She scrabbled for an answer and settled on an obvious one. "I'm visiting a friend. He's ill and I thought I should see him in case he's really sick and he dies soon."

"All right, all right, I asked for your business, not your life story," grumbled the voice as the gate creaked open. Kel glanced around to make sure her weapons were completely hidden but easily accessible if she needed them, then rode into the city.

Cría couldn't compare to Corus in size and bustle, but it was still large and crowded enough for Kel to melt easily into the crowd. She dismounted and strolled slowly along a row of merchants' stalls, always wary of pickpockets and watching the gate for Neal. Peddlers and merchants called out to her, advertising their wares, but she just shook her head and ignored them.

After about ten minutes with no sign of Neal, Kel was just deciding that he must have slipped in without her noticing, when shouting and the clang of weapons rang out from the gate. By the time Kel rushed over to see what was happening, her heart thudding in her ears and fearing the worst, a crowd had already formed around the spectacle. Kel pushed her way to the front to see her worst fears realized.

Neal was fighting off a ring of guards who were closing in around him. Three men struggled with Magewhisper alone. Looking around wildly and realizing that there was no escape, he yelled, "Don't try to help me! Just stay hidden and finish the job-I'll be fine!" Kel watched in horror as one man got in a stab with his spear on Neal's sword arm. The weapon dropped out of Neal's hand as the wound bled freely. Kel felt tears of frustration at her helplessness sting in her eyes. It was killing her to not be able to help him, but she knew that he was right: if they were both captured, she wouldn't be able to defeat Raydon and she would lose Neal to the Black God.

The guards forced him down and tied him like an animal. A couple of men kicked him until he stopped struggling and lay still, arm bleeding sluggishly and bruises already blooming. Kel itched to rush out and free him, bandage his wounds, kiss his face now contorted in pain, but his order rang clear in her ears and she barely managed to restrain herself. The other guards had managed to subdue Magewhisper, and they threw Neal roughly across her back.

"This is the one he wanted? Yer sure?" one man asked the captain. The burly commander nodded.

"Must be. Fits the description. He goes north to him 'isself," he answered. "He wanted 'im alive. No tellin' what he's gonna do wif 'im, a mage like that one." He shook his head.

Kel's head spun. _They must be talking about taking Neal to Raydon! _Her mind screamed. Her agitation overtook her and she forgot Neal's orders and reached for her sword. A rough hand grabbed her wrist before she reached it, holding firm. A familiarly accented voice hissed in her ear.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

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Are you mad at me for taking away Neal again? Tell me how mad you are in a...REVIEW!


	25. Unexpected Friend

Ok, I'm incredibly sorry that I made you all wait so long after such a mean little cliffhanger. I've been simply swamped with schoolwork and holidays and just life in general. But since so many of you left me reviews, I figured it was just cruel to make so many wonderful people be hanging there and I made time to write another chapter. Lesson learned: reviews really do make me update faster.

So again, many thanks to all the lovely reviewers, and extra thanks and happy slightly-belated birthday to my fabulous beta, LadyKnight 1512.

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Kel whipped around to find herself staring into a bright pair of hazel eyes. She opened her mouth to exclaim the name of their owner, but he silenced her with a quick jerk of the head.

"Not a word. You're in a right bit of trouble lassie, and here is not the place for explanations. Come with me."

Kel looked desperately after Neal being hauled away and voiced a weak protest. "But we have to-"

"We _will_, but this is _not_ the time and place, and if we don't leave, you'll follow and pretty quickly."

She knew he was right. She nodded and trailed him as he wove expertly through the crowd. The slowly dispersing mob didn't even look twice at them as she and Peachblossom slipped onto a backstreet behind him. They made a complicated trail, sometimes doubling back or taking long detours, all the while the man checking behind to ensure that they were not followed.

Finally the man, woman, and horse arrived at a small and seedy-looking inn. Kel raised an eyebrow dubiously. The man merely raised one back, but in amusement that she had doubted him.

"I spent the majority of my young adulthood in much worse places," he said. "I can assure you that we'll both be quite safe here."

Kel smiled wanly and shrugged, eyeing the creaking sign hanging above the crookedly hinged door, the writing above a picture of a mangled boar's head was illegible.

"Your horse can stay in the stables over here with mine," he continued to her, leading them over to the adjacent building. After Peachblossom had been securely stabled and groomed, Kel followed the man up to his room and closed the door behind them. He used his Sight to check for eavesdroppers, then sat down gracefully on the bed.

Kel sank onto a chair facing him. "All right, George, tell me everything.

He tiredly rubbed a hand across his eyes, alarming Kel because she had never known the former Rogue-King to show any such sign. _Affairs must be in a pretty bad state for him to be this weary, _she thought.

"I'm afraid things are lookin' worse by the day back home," he replied. "There've been a few more major attacks on small towns and villages by the spirit army and travelers and scouts keep disappearin' in the north. We suspect they're the cause. Not to mention the mass chaos caused by the fall of Steadfast. Wyldon'd left to do routine inspections at the surrounding establishments the morning before the attack, so we've still got him, thank the gods, and he's workin' his hardest to account for the huge losses and reorganize the army, but it's slow progress. The extent of the damage those spirits are causin' is beyond anything we could've imagined."

Kel's stomach churned in horror. "Do we have any idea of how to defeat them?"

George shook his head. "Numair hasn't slept since, but even he's at a loss. Seems the only way is to get rid of the mage who's controlling 'em. That's why I'm here, actually. I got word of what you and young Queenscove are up to, and I followed your trail, hoping to catch up to you, and see how I could help."

As glad as she was to see a familiar face in a hostile land, the last thing Kel wanted was to put another friend in danger. "No, George, absolutely not. I can't let you risk your life on a hare-brained mission with such a slim change of success when Tortall needs you so much."

He smiled wryly at her, both of them knowing it was an argument that she would lose. "You know I could say the same to you," he replied calmly. "Besides," he added, cutting her off as she opened her mouth to argue. "It's really Tortall's only hope. Now I don't doubt your competence behind enemy lines after your recent escapade up in Scanra. But if anything, this mage is more dangerous, and you'll need all the help you can get if you even want a chance of success."

A sudden wave of despair washed over Kel and she hung her head to hide the tears that glistened in her eyes, much to her embarrassment. "We really don't have a chance, do we?" Our people are dying so fast… and I'm so afraid that I'm going to fail them… or maybe I already have."

George leaned forward and clasped her shoulder comfortingly. "Now, lass, don't say that. You're doing more than anyone else could. You've already saved countless lives from Blayce and his killing-machines. You beat them, and you can beat this. So don't start doubtin' yourself now. Don't you lose hope."

Kel sniffed and nodded. "You're right. I do no one any good just sitting here wallowing. So what do we do now?"

"Well, my sources have given me some speculations as to where this Raydon fellow is hiding. While they vary a bit, the general location is the same. It's not near any villages or towns or any sort, but up in the mountains. Seems the rat likes his privacy."

"So we go north?"

George nodded. "That's the way it looks."

"After Neal," Kel said quietly, leaning heavily against the back of her chair. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. "I can't get it out of my head… the way he looked as they cut him down; he was just powerless against so many. He's hurting and in danger, and I didn't even do anything to help him."

"You _couldn't _do anything," George said firmly. "He didn't want you to. You would've only put yourself in more danger, and that's the last thing anyone wants. How do you think Neal would have felt if you were captured, tortured, and killed while trying to save him? Can you imagine the responsibility he would feel for that? And not only Neal, but all of Tortall would suffer because we need you alive. You're the only one who can defeat Raydon and end this nightmare. So don't hurt yourself by thinking that it's your fault. Maybe it even happened for a reason."

Kel looked at him, baffled. "What?"

"It's the very reason I kept fighting at Jon's coronation, when Roger tried to take over: I was doing it for my lass. You need to take all that guilt, and fear, and caring for Neal, and let it be your strength."

She took a deep breath and steeled herself. "All right. I will." She hesitated. "But George, I have to do _something_ to help him."

He smiled wickedly. "Oh, don't worry lass. I have a plan."

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What's his plan? You'll just have to leave me lots of reviews to motivate me to tell you!


	26. Plots and Anxiety

Sorry I took so incredibly long to update, I know that many people were getting impatient to know what George's plan is. I've been so busy with school, with finals and beginning the college search and everything, it's just been so overwhelming. Luckily, writing is kind of like therapy for me, so I was able to get another one down.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and special thanks to my awesome beta LadyKnight 1512, who is incredibly speedy.

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George insisted that Kel get some rest, while he himself slipped out into the evening. She took a bath, letting the hot water soothe her aching muscles and wash away the dried mud and blood. But as much as her body relaxed, her mind simply could not. Images of Neal beaten, tortured, helpless, dead, flew through her mind, no matter how she tried to push them away.

She finally managed to fall asleep on the creaky bed, but she was plagued by dreams of the spirits rampaging through Tortall, killing her friends, and Raydon himself, a faceless figure, laughing maniacally as he carried out sick methods of torture on Neal. Kel jumped when George laid a gentle hand on her shoulder to wake her a couple hours before dawn.

"Bad dreams, lass?" he said sympathetically, seeing her white face and wary, haunted expression.

She nodded, sighing. "I need to finish this. I'll lose what little sanity I have left if I don't soon."

George nodded sagely. "Oh, the rest of us lost our sanity long ago. Y'get used to it after a time."

Kel had to smile, thinking of the unusual ways of many of her friends.

"Now, I've managed t'get some information regardin' the whereabouts of young Queenscove, and the plans for bringin' 'im up to Raydon," said George, heading toward the door. "I'll let you get dressed while I go fetch some breakfast for us. We'll talk while we eat."

Once the door had closed behind him, Kel rose and stretched, and then dressed quickly, feeling like her purpose had been renewed. She was combing her fingers through her hair when George returned with a tray of steaming food. Kel's stomach grumbled as the smell reached her nose. It seemed like it had been forever since she had eaten a hot meal at the last inn.

George explained as they ate: "They're keepin' him in one of the cells in the city barracks, fully guarded. Raydon must've told 'em that he's pretty important. The guards change shifts at dawn, and I've got a diversion set up to keep 'em occupied long enough to slip in and find Neal.

"And free him?" Kel asked anxiously.

George shook his head apologetically. "We can't. I'm sorry, lass, but we can't."

Kel knew that he really was sorry, but she didn't understand why they couldn't rescue Neal and return him to her arms as soon as possible. She opened her mouth to voice this protest, but George cut her off.

"We need him to lead us to Raydon. The soldiers that are bringin' him up plan to leave shortly after dawn, and we can follow them right up to the Rat's doorstep. If Neal disappears, they'll go lookin' for him, and waste time that we could be usin' to find Raydon, and we'll most likely lose our only chance for an easy trail up. We can't give up this opportunity, Kel," he said, seeing her troubled face. "We may not get another one—and all of Tortall is dependin' on us now."

Kel nodded, understanding, but not liking, the situation. "Well then why are we even going to him if we can't free him?"

"He has to know the plan, so he can leave deliberate signs for us, in case we can't follow very closely, or they're very good at coverin' their tracks."

"And I need to apologize for abandoning him," Kel added quietly.

George shook his head again. "Kel, if they had that much of a watch out for Neal, they must have orders to capture you, too. It's amazing that you got into the city undetected. We just can't take the chance of you riskin' yourself like that. You can't go with me to see him."

Kel jumped to her feet. "George, I have to see him," she insisted. She felt like one of her young nieces or nephews when they didn't get their way. She wanted to stamp her feet and throw a tantrum, but she closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself.

George looked unhappy. "No, Kel. I can't let you come," he said, gently but firmly.

Kel pushed her frustration into her fingers and curled them into fists. "Please, George, I need to see him. You should understand, you know what it's like when the person you love is in danger and you can't help, or even see them. I'll be careful; I won't get caught or give anything away."

The former thief-king hesitated for a moment, but shook his head again. "This is spy's work," he said. "Any more people add just that much more danger. We just can't afford to risk you. You're too valuable to lose."

Kel sighed and sat back down, defeated. "Maybe I don't _want_ to be so valuable," she grumbled.

George smiled crookedly at her. "Most valuable people don't get a choice."

Kel raised her eyebrows at him and couldn't help but smile a little back. She admired his ability to stay calm and maintain his sense of humor in bad situations. She shook her head. She was used to being the one giving orders and keeping a cool head.

_It's crazy what worrying about Neal is doing to me_, she thought. To George, she said, "All right, what do you want me to do, then?"

"Get our horses and packs ready to go at any time," he answered. "I'll take care of the rest." As he turned to leave, she called after him.

"Make sure you tell him to mind his tongue!"

Kel drummed her fingers impatiently across her knee. George had been gone for well over an hour and she was growing more restless by the minute. She had followed his instructions, preparing everything for their journey, and she was waiting in the stable with the horses for his return. She looked out the small window beside the door; the sky was lighting. Dawn, George's time for meeting with Neal, was well past. From her position sitting against the gate of Peachblossom's stall, she could see if anyone approached the stable, but no one did.

A nearby horse whickered softly, causing Kel to jump in her agitated state. She shook her head at her own jumpiness, and pushed herself into a standing position, and craned her next to check once more if George was coming, when she saw that he indeed wasn't, she began to pace nervously up and down the table.

What could be keeping George? Did he get caught? Was he hurt? Had he even been able to get to Neal?

_Neal_.

The single name, and the feelings associated with the person to whom it belonged, hit Kel so forcefully that she actually stopped pacing and tears sprang to her eyes. She took a moment to wipe them away, lost in the growing feeling of helplessness and loneliness that attacked her when she was without him. It terrified her that it felt like a major part of her was missing and it terrified her even more that one person could her affect her so much.

She blinked the tears from her eyes and resumed her pacing, this time to distract herself from overwhelming thoughts of Neal. Peachblossom reached out and gripped her sleeve in his teeth as she walked by, stopping her in her tracks. Kel glanced around and realized that she was making the horses nervous. She quietly apologized, not caring that they couldn't understand her, and reclaimed her seat on the floor, resigned to wait in stillness.

Worry made the time crawl by before she heard footfalls and the door swung open to reveal George's large form. Kel realized that she had been holding her breath when he finally let it out. She leapt to her feet, searching his face for any signs of what he had experienced, good or bad.

George simply accepted his horse's reins from her with a nod of thanks, and said, "Let's go."

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Are you excited for another big adventure? The thrill of the chase? Even if you're not, tell me what you _did _think in a review! 


	27. Pursuit

I must begin by apoligizing profusely for my ridiculously long hiatus from updating. It is a heinous crime to write a long story, get to the good part, and then abandon it for 8 months, leaving reades hanging on what is going to happen to their favorite characters, and I am quite ashamed of myself for being so guilty of just that. So I will do my best to redeem myself by updating now, and just in case you've forgotten what's happened in the last 8 months, I'll provide a (hopefully) brief summary of the story so far.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed. You are truthfully the reason why this chapter is even up. I do it all for you readers.

And a special thanks to my wonderful (and insanely speedy--seriously, she got my chapter back to me about an hour after I'd e-mailed it) beta, Lady Knight 1512. You're the best!

Disclaimer: Characters, places, etc. belong to Tamora Pierce. As much as I wish Neal was mine... sigh...

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_A summary of previous events:_

_A catastrophe strikes Tortall shortly after Raoul and Buri's wedding (and the dramatic celebrations that ensue) in the form of disembodied spirit warriors attacking Fort Steadfast and killing many, including Neal's betrothed, Yuki. Kel and Neal travel to the fort where they encounter the Great Gods who inform them that Kel has been chosen to challenge Raydon, the Gallan mage who is controlling the spirits. The two knights journey to Galla, nearly being defeated in a skirmish, the aftermath in which Neal loses his life saving Kel from fatal injury. Kel realizes that she can't live without him and persuades the gods to return his spirit, on the condition that the remainder of his life depends on the success of Kel's mission. Neal revives and he and Kel enjoy a romantic reunion in which they finally admit their love for each other. They continue on to Cría, where Neal is captured upon entering the city by soldiers with orders to take him to Raydon. Kel meets an unexpected friend (George Cooper) and the two devise a plan to follow Neal's abductors north to Raydon's headquarters where they hope to rescue Neal and end the mage's deadly deeds for good._

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The Lady Knight and the Spy Master escaped the city with surprisingly little trouble, though Kel suspected that it was George's doing. The guards at the gate _had _seemed to be familiar with him, though the ex-thief adamantly denied it with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. 

George seemed to know exactly where they were going, and although Kel hated for another of her friends to be risking his life in such a ridiculous mission, she was secretly grateful for his presence. If Kel had been expecting the journey north to be solemn and arduous, it was anything but. Not only was George extremely helpful, but his cheerful manner and easy humor soothed Kel's worries and brought back some of the "pain-in-the-bum" optimism that Neal had often accused her of having back in their page years. She began to see how the Lioness could have fallen so deeply in love with him, even if he wasn't as handsome as Neal, in Kel's opinion.

The first few days were easy. The soldiers were in a hurry to deliver Neal to Raydon, and left a sloppy trail that was easy for Kel and George to follow safely. Kel's hopes were lifted as she dared to believe that her seemingly impossible goal was within reach, despite Wyldon's nagging voice in the back of her head, telling her not to get complacent. However, as they entered the far eastern reaches of the Grimhold mountains, Kel realized that she was horribly wrong. As the dirt road was replaced by rock, she wondered how they were to follow the soldiers now. She said as much to George.

He merely chuckled and said, "Now we look for the signs from Queenscove."

Kel remembered the reason why George had gone to Neal before their departure from Cría. "What kind of a sign is he leaving?" she asked, careful not to say Neal's name. She didn't trust her voice with the work, since every time she even thought it, a jolt of pain went through her heart. Despite George's constant efforts to keep Kel upbeat, he couldn't keep away the overwhelming emotions that gripped her whenever she thought of Neal. Guilt mixed with anxiety and love continually plagued her, and the image of his face was ever-present in her mind's eye. Still, Kel didn't let any of this hinder her, but rather remained like stone and let it fuel her resolve to rescue Neal and Tortall, as George had instructed.

"We're looking for mage-marks," George explained to her, peering about. "Traces of his magic that he attached to objects as they passed by."

"But how can we see the traces of his magic?" Kel asked, confused. "It will have faded by now."

George grinned like a child who was revealing an exciting secret. "Ah, but you forget, lass, that I have the Sight!"

Kel nodded, understanding, but she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. She wished there was someway she could help; she felt useless and yearned for a way to help Neal.

George seemed to sense her dismay because he explained, "I'm sorry, lass, but it had to be something the soldiers wouldn't pick up on."

Kel nodded again, but only felt the slightest bit better. She contented herself with looking for regular tracks as George searched for magical ones.

Scarcely a minute passed before George exclaimed, "Ah! Found it. Clever lad, that Queenscove. He managed to magic a tree branch pointing in the right direction."

As he swung up onto his horse with the grace of a large cat, Kel wished she could see the shimmering green magic that would make her feel closer to Neal, but she was glad that they had a trail to follow once more, whether she could see it or not.

That night as they ate a cold supper, not daring to risk a fire, Kel voiced to George a thought that had been troubling her all afternoon. "George, these men... the ones who are serving Raydon... who are they? How can they live with themselves, knowing _who_ they're serving and the terrible deeds they're helping him accomplish?"

George shook his head and sighed. "People will do anythin' when they're desperate. Desperate for power, desperate for wealth... or just desperate for survival. Monsters like this Raydon, they get their power by feedin' on the fears of these desperate people. These men we're following... maybe they're not really bad men. Of course, some of them could be; there are always bad people in every bunch. But most of them were probably just desperate to feed their families, or just to get by. Raydon most likely found any poor Scanrans or Gallans who needed some hope and fed them lies, tellin' 'em that he could save them, if they helped him. It's a terrible way to gain power... but it works."

Kel clenched her fists. "I wish I could stop that. Those men are giving up their lives for lies."

George handed her a cold sweet pastry. "Well, as hard as anyone tries, there's no one who can right all the wrongs in the world. But we're well on our way to fixin' one of 'em."

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I apologize for the short length and Kel's lack of in-characterness. One of the horrible effects of long breaks is that you forget how characters act... 

But I would appreciate it ever so much if you would reward my efforts at a comeback with a review!


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